obsession

five

"No."

"Yes."

"You're lying."

"Margot! I am not lying. When have I ever lied to you?" 

She sits across from me, her mouth agape. "You... Are the luckiest woman alive right now."

I giggle. "I know. Nothing has ever happened like that before. I mean, where'd he come from? Straight out of a John Hugh's movie?"

She shakes her head one last time, incredulous. "Guys like that don't exist anymore. You better keep him close."

"So where'd you end up going, anyway?" I ask, kicking a comic book off the edge of my bed.

"Well, Charlie took me back to his apartment, and we smoked cigarettes for awhile," she begins to trail off and a wild grin spreads across her face.

"No," its my turn to say.

"We didn't do it, but we did a lot," she squeals, and jumps off my bed to do a little dance around the room. "It was so amazing! Now I know what the girls at school are always going on about."

"Hey, at least you didn't end up going home with a forty year old man."

"I know. Even so, I'm so jealous of you." She then throws a stuffed animal at my head, and we giggle together.

That night, I'm on my bed reading Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret when Jane comes into my bedroom. 

"Tate, you have a call," she says, but I can tell by the way her eyebrows crease that she's bothered about something.

"What's wrong?" I ask, placing my bookmark in the book and shutting it.

"Tate... It's Kieran. I don't know why he wants to call you, but..." she doesn't know what to say next. "What's been going on?"

"Nothing!" I exclaim, trying desperately to think of an excuse. "Look, I don't know why he's calling. I'll answer it, okay?"

She nods, but her face is still doubtful. She walks out of the room anyway.

I pick up my pink telephone and wait for the click on the other end before I speak. "Hi, Kieran. How'd you get our number?"

"Your mom gave it to me that night after dinner," he replies, and I blush openly at how cute his voice sounds over the phone. Deep and masculine. No wonder Margot is so jealous. "I just wanted to call and see how you are."

"Jane isn't my mom," I say, and instantly feel bad afterwards. "Well, she's my stepmom. Anyway, I'm okay. How are you?"

"Oh, I didn't know that. I'm sorry," he chuckles apologetically. "I'm okay. So, I was wondering if you want to make plans to hang out?"

I cover the phone with my blanket and scream into my pillow. Then I quickly run to my door and fling it open to see if anyone's listening, but Jane has vanished. I run back.

"Hello?" He asks.

"Yes! Sorry. Yes, I would love to!" I exclaim.

He laughs. "Someone's excited. I like that. Do you have any plans?"

I think hard, and think of Jane and my father. Then it hits me- they go golfing, every Saturday, at the same time, always. "Saturday."

"Saturday?" He asks. "Okay. What do you wanna do Saturday?"

"Surprise me, Kieran," I smile, knowing he can't see how nervous I look.

It goes quiet. I can just see his grin through the phone. "Then surprise you I shall. Be ready."

He hangs up before I have a chance to say goodbye.

Jane returns to my bedroom a few minutes later, an anxious look still plastered against her soft skin. "I feel bad."

"Why?" I ask.

"Because... Well, because I can tell you like Kieran. And I can tell he likes you," She says, and sits on the side of my bed. I know not to speak. "And I know he's older... But he's a good boy, isn't he?"

"He really is," I insist, sitting next to her. "He's like... The sweetest boy ever. I've never met anyone like him."

She's quiet.

"Mom," I whisper, and Jane's face crumples with affection. "Please. He's so nice to me."

"Tate," she says gently, and takes my hand. She pauses before saying, "Okay. Okay, yes, you can see him. I'd do anything for you. And if this makes you happy, then okay. So be it."

She stands and kisses my forehead, hard. Jane was always a hugger, but not much of a kisser. I almost want to pause this moment to feel her forehead kiss forever. 

Before she leaves the room, she turns to me. "I hate keeping secrets from your father. But... This stays between us."

I look at her, confused.

"You know your dad," she whispers. "His kids are his world. He doesn't want you to grow up so fast."

"I won't," I reply. "Kieran is a good boy."

"An older boy, nonetheless." She takes a deep breath. "This is our secret. I love you."

She leaves the room, and I turn back to my book, but it seems so juvenile compared to what's happening in my life right now. If I could, I would write my own book about this, how I met a gorgeous man, who's also my neighbor, and our adventures together. Even though there's only one. 

I fall asleep that night to the glow of light coming from Kieran's house, like a soft sun, slivering through my curtains. I think of his smile, and the way the corners of his lips curl. The way his bottom lip looks soft, pink; I fall asleep slowly.