Take The Heart I Never Wanted to Give

6

Castiel stared blankly at the ceiling and let out a deep sigh. Sleep refused to cooperate with him. It was purposely evading him and forcing him to think about the previous series of events and exactly what to do about them. How had all this gotten so out of hand? Not only was he forced to fight for an omega that didn't want anything to do with him, he also had to attempt to hunt him down like a fucking animal and drag him back to the castle like a prize? How could his mother agree to allow them to do something as heinous as this?

'<i>She's done worse before, remember?' </i> A voice reminded him in his head. It was true. She had done far worse. She had killed her own sister just to become queen. It was no secret, everyone in their in their kingdom knew how desperate Naomi was to become queen and how far she was willing to go to get it, but no one dared to talk about it. Doing so was a wish for swift and painful death. This was probably just another task for her. She'd do anything to get a successor from one of her sons. One she could fully control and manipulate into doing her  bidding. Michael and Lucifer may be obedient to her but they were independent and smart enough to know when she was trying to manipulate them. Castiel and Gabriel, however, simply refused to listen to her which only made her more determined to get a successor born completely of royal blood from them. Castiel was almost convinced that she would kill her sons simply so that their own heir could rule through her. He would never let that happen though. No one should be forced into something like that.

This also posed his previous question as to what he should do about Dean and the upcoming "fox hunt." His only options were to half ass it and let Michael or Lucifer take him, or he could try and find Dean himself. If he allowed the former to happen, he knew his brothers would do unspeakable things to Dean and force him into breeding several children for them. Castiel would never forgive himself if he allowed that to happen simply couldn't live that. If he did the latter, he would have to earn Dean's trust and assure him that he had no intention of mating him. He would also have to be careful around John and Naomi if we're going to lie about mating him. If they found out he didn't actually mate him, that would cause even greater problems. Castiel shook his head, both decisions posing extreme dangers and risks. With his thoughts too jumbled and far too loud for his liking, he decided to go for a short walk within the castle and mill over his options. He carefully climbed out of the bed and made his way out into the hallway to begin his walk. He made down the long hallway of rooms when the sound of sniffling made him stop instantly. He turned his head, trying to pinpoint where the sound had come from when his eyes settled on a figure sitting on the floor of an outside balcony, his legs swinging lazily through to opening in the rail and his head braced against the stone of the rail. The oddly familiar scent of apples and oak wood flooded his nose. Dean. He contemplated leaving him alone or confronting him and making sure he didn't do something stupid like jump.

"I don't think jumping would be very wise." Castiel mentally slapped himself across the face. Nice going, you idiot, he thought.

Dean sat up instantly and stared at Cas with emerald green eyes that went from alert to annoyed and then angry, "What the hell do you want?" He snapped.

Castiel had the decency to look sheepish and gave a small shrug of his shoulders, "Couldn't sleep. I decided to go for a walk then I heard you sniffle and you looked like you were about to jump and I wanted to make sure that didn't happen I guess," Castiel rambled nervously, his feet shuffling against the floor, "What's your excuse?"

Dean scoffed and turned away from him, "Same as you, I guess. I usually come out here to think. Not to contemplate suicide. I'm not that emotionally drained."

"Oh," Castiel said realizing how his accusation sounded, "Sorry. I didn't mean—"

"I know what you meant," Dean interrupted, his voice softer now sounding more tired rather than angry.