To hell and back

I try so hard

I try so hard to do what everyone asks of me cuz I know dealing with a bi polar fuck up isn't easy but when I try u don't listen... You say I'm only being controlling or prideful u say I'm not that stupid when I'm crying and screaming I can't breath I can't take it!!!!! U just sit there and laugh and say it's all for attention until I'm wishing my heart would stop... Your the reason I can't be happy it's all you when I can't sleep it's cuz I'm up all night cuz I'm scared and wondering why cant u see I'm trying to be everything u want me to be..... But you scream and tell me how wrong I am and how I'm nothing I want u to look at me like you do them proud and happy trusting and kind but I'll never being anything to you will I I just don't want to be here anymore I want to leave take my best friend and leave... You won't let me see her either And that only adds to it.... When will you see I'm trying to be everything you want me to mom and dad I just want u to see