Bananas and Styles (A One Direction Fanfic)

idek what chapter ive lost track

Well, that sure got my mind off of Harry... I took Tyga to the hospital after her "episode". Jack came with me. I said that I was Tyga's Aunt and Jack was her uncle. They fell for it, which was good. I was married to Jack for like 5 minutes, which was even better.

"So.. Is she normal now?" Jack asks as he pokes the human sleeping on the hospital bed. "The nurse said she was talking fine earlier, so, I guess she is." I reply, grabbing Jack's arm to make him stop poking Tyga.

I spent over fifty dollars on her, she better not become useless. I need my money's worth. I look at the black-haired hipster girl-thing. At least she didn't die because I want that backyard hut and/or unlimited Crocs.

Tyga's eyes start to open. She was waking up. "Okay Jack, you're on your own bc I have a corner to cry in!" I yell and run out the door. I can't take it any longer. I loved Harry. And I needed to see him once more.

I rush home and text Niall because when he wasn't looking, I stole his phone and found out his number.

Marcy: hye nail

Niall: Hey Marcy! Haven't talked to you in a while.

M: i msis him

N: He misses you too

M: omfg srsly rlly he btetter

N: Can you please stop texting like that!

M: no i cnt srsly i suk @dis i cnt

N: Okay. Whatever

M: gud

N: Harry hasn't been the same since you two broke up. He seems a little depressed.

M: i miss him<3

N: How about I just call you. OK?

M: sher

I jumped a little to the sound of my phone ringing, but i answered it normally. "Heygwehgermer" I say

"Hey. Marcy?"

"Yeh"

"Hey. We haven't talked for a while. I miss you."

"I miss you too. Soooo"

"Umm" "This is awkw-"

"I think you and Harry should get back together. I'm booking flights right now and I don't give a shit what you want you want to say bye!"

Click. And just like that, he was gone. A part of me wanted to murder Niall slowly with a butter knife, but the other part made me want to hug him forever and ever.

"I wonder how Jack's doing. I was his ride." I think aloud and hear a knock on my door. Well... It can't be Niall already. So it must be Jack because i have no other friends..

I prance over to the door and open it expecting Jack and Tyga to be standing there pissed.

"Mom?" Oh god mom! Why does my mom have to be here right now!? My house is a mess, I am a mess. I bought a freaking slave! But thank the lord for my mom! She always straightens me out!

She gives me a big hug and a kiss on the forehead. "Hi sweety! I haven't seen you in over a year and you never call and oh my god your house is a mess! You've always been an unorganized freak, but sh*t! What is going on?" My mom yells in her high-pitched voice. I start crying on my mom's shoulder. "Mom.. I bought a slave,." She immediately moves me and looks into my eyes. "Now, I know you're weird," she starts, "But a slave!? What the hell has made you want to buy a slave!? Was it because of a boy? Last time you had your heart broken, you became addicted to bananas." I just look at her and nod. "Okay, how about we sit down and you tell me everything about this fag who hurt you." My mom leads me to the couch and we sit down.

"His name is Harry..." I start. "He's really famous and we fell in love. Then he fell out of love with me because I became addicted to bananas again. Then there's Jack Willis who is a friend. But he tried to kiss me and then Tyga (My slave) had a seizure and now Jack and I are a little bit married but not really. And I was just talking to Niall (he's in the band with Harry) and he's booking flight tickets so he can get Harry and I back together and I just don't know! Help me mom!" I sob. "Wait.. You're married?" Was all my mom could make out from what I just said. So I said it again word-by-word. "ooohhhh" my mom clearly didn't get it the second time repeating it, so I said it once more. "Well, it sucks to be you! But if I were you, I'd try and work things out with Harry, and if that doesn't work go out with Jack and murder Harry. Sound alright?" My mom gives the best advice. I nod my head and the doorbell rings. "You look like a mess, I'll get the door. Don't want any cute boys to think you're ugly." My mom says and she opens the door. I hear Jack's voice. "Hi, is Marcy around?". "Yes she is, just one moment please." My mom closes the and mouths, "Is this Jack?" and points to the door. I nod my head while smiling and my mom gives me a thumbs up. "Come in", my mom says to- hubba hubba that is not Jack. Jack has black hair, This hotty has dirty blonde hair. "Wait.. Who are you?" I ask him, my face burning because if you say a sexy beast like him you'd blush too. "Oh sorry. My name's Bobby, I'm Jack's brother. He told me to tell you that he needs you at the hospital right now." He smiles. "I can give you a ride if you want?" He looks at me awkwardly. "No. Can I ride you?" I blurt out. Sh*t Marcy! Did i just say that out loud? Why!? I cough a little, "I mean, I want to give you sex nononono" Marcy! Get your act together! "Sorry, You're hot and I can drive to the hospital I don't need a ride." I facepalm and Bobby the Hotty gives me a funny expression, then grabs my arm and runs out the door. He is just like Jack omfg. "Bye mom!" I yell as I am pulled out the door.

So after Bobby and I do the dirty in the back of his car, he drives me to the hospital.

We went up to Tyga's room and Jack was standing above Tyga's bed. "She had another seizure" Jack says, not even turning around to look at us. "Soooo. Why do you seem so sad about it?" I ask and Jack falls to the floor. "I HAVE TO PAY FOR IT ALL!!" He screams to the heavens. I look at him confused. "I can pay for half of it?" I ask and he looks at me with his puppy-dog eyes. "I'm so broke" He whispers and collapses. I raise an eyebrow at jack, "I can pay for all of it?" Jack looks at me, Gets up, and walks out the door. "K thank" He says as he walks past me. He could've at least added the "S" in thankS. I look around and Bobby was nowhere to be seen! He was my ride! I look at the sleeping thing on the bed and I creep out of the room

I call my mom to pick me up and she does.

"I have to pay for Tyga's hospital bill." I look at my mom who is applying lipstick with one hand and has the other hand on the wheel. "Did you give them the fake phone number and address?" She asks. "Mmhmm" I mumble. She gives me a confused look, "Then why do you have to pay for her!?!?!?" She yells. I think about it, nod my head, and look forward and don't reply.

But what nobody knows is that I used my excellent stalker skills to find out Jack's bank information and I put that down on the forms. So, Jack is getting charged. Serves him right for being a d*ck.