Bananas and Styles (A One Direction Fanfic)

Chapturd 88888888

I was feeling quite sad for weeks after the breakup. Nobody knew about our one-week relationship. I live in a small town so not many people saw us, and Harry never said anything about us in interviews I mean what? I haven't become totally obsessed with Harry Styles...

...

On one particular day, I was feeling rather lonely. So I had my first shower in weeks, got dressed into clean clothes, and headed off to my town's local black market. That place can always cheer me up! The animal sacrifices being taught to the children, beautifully carved and sharpened knives used for slitting your wrists and giving a large amount of your blood to Satan, and my favourite shop of all: the human slaves for sale.. You could use a slave for basically anything. Like sacrificing it to the Devil for unlimited Crocs, or making it build a hut in your backyard...

"OOH OOH! I want that one!" I screech and point to the black haired girl in between a cross eyed Indian man and a blonde girl who probably once did meth. "Okay" the lady says with an annoying country accent that makes me want to punch her in the face 34 times. "She's a fine un. If i were you I wouldn't give 'er to thee Devil. I'd keep 'er. Make 'er build a hut in mah backyard. i'd say she's worth 54 dollhairs."

I pay the lady her money and a 2 dollar tip, and drag my human to my car. "Hmm. I'll name you Tyga." I pat Tyga on her head and she replies with a disgusting gurgling noise. "NO PERSON! NO SPEAKING!" I smack her upide the head and she crawls into the car. Tyga hadn't made a noise the whole 5 minute car ride, which either meant she had somehow died, she was sleeping, or she knew not to speak again... And I was fine with any of the outcomes.

I look at Tyga who was sleeping in the backseat. She had a YOLO hat on. Like 'YOLO! I'm gonna become a slave!'.

"Ugh. What the hell am I supposed to feed this thing it looks hungry.." I look at the creature crawling around and licking the kitchen floor. Gross. I kick it and it stops. I open the fridge and found just what to feed the thing. Fish Food! I had a dog two years ago and its favourite snack was fish food. But then it ran away and idk what happened to it after that. I open the can. Only a little bit of mold... I dump the flakes into a bowl and Tyga gobbles it up quickly, only puking once.

***

I was watching a movie when my doorbell rang. It was Jack. "Hey man! I haven't seen you in weeks! Why haven't you dropped by or anything?" I say and lean up against the door frame. He looks at me and replies, "Because you went crazy and I'm here to help you!". He notices my slave sliding around on my floor and screeches. "What is this!" He yells. "Oh that? That's just my slave." I reply and Tyga crawls on the couch. I push her off. "What the hell!!! Get rid of it!!" He screams at me.

THUMP. Jack and I look at Tyga who just passed out on the floor. I poke it with my foot.

"GA-GA-GAB" It starts twitching. "What? Do you mean stab? Jab? Because I WILL murder you if you want" Jack yells at it. "GABRIELLE" Its eyes roll to the back of its head and it falls limp. I roll it to its side bc seizuring. Tyga starts shaking uncontrollably. "SWAG!" It screams and passes out.

wut just happened?