I didn't talk the whole ride home. I just stared out the window, watching the raindrops fall and slide down them. It was my fault Kenlee died. If I would have done everything right and listened to everything the doctor said then she would be in her car seat in the backseat of the car right now. I'd be rocking her to sleep and putting her in her crib. Then everything would be okay. Everything would be the way it's suppose to be. Hunter probably hates me now. I should have listened to him when he told me to eat well and to stay in bed.
"I'm sorry, Hunter."
He placed his hand on my thigh.
"For what babe?"
I took in a long breath and let it all out.
"For killing Kenlee. If I would have just did everything I was told and not been so stubborn about it the-"
He pulled the car over and got out. He opened my door and engulfed me in a hug.
"Stop. Please stop. It is nowhere near close to your fault. Don't you dare blame yourself for this, Vanessa. I guess it just wasn't our time to be parents. Everything happens for a reason babe. I don't like how it happened, but it happened and I know it was for the best. Kenlee was suffering but now she's okay. Don't beat yourself up princess."
He kissed my cheek and closed my door back. He got in the car and turned on the radio. 'I hate you I love you' was playing.
I miss you when I can't sleep. Or right after coffee or right when I can't eat. I miss you in my front seat. Still got sand in my sweater from nights we don't remember. Do you miss me like I miss you? Fucked around and got attached to you.
"Maybe we should listen to something else."
Hunter quickly changed the station and 'Headlines' by Drake started playing. Hunter turned up the volume and started rapping some of the song.
"Yeah, I be yelling out Vanessa over everything, Vanessa on my mind. Then she wanna ask when it got so empty. Tell her I apologize it happened over time. She says they missed the old Hunter, girl don't tempt me."
Ugh I freaking love him. He always knew how to make me feel better.
"I love you, Hunter Bryce."
He pulled into the driveway and kissed my cheek.
"I love you more, babe."
We walked inside and immediately walked upstairs and into Kenlee's room. It had to be done. Hunter got the bins out from the closet. I carefully took the covers and blankets out of her crib, folded them neatly, and put them in the bin. If we didn't do it now, we would never do it. Hunter quietly took apart the crib and put the pieces back in the bag. It took about an hour to pack everything up and by the time we got everything in the attic it was already ten-thirty. I just wanted the day to be over with. I checked my phone and I had over fifty missed calls and texts from a variety of different people. I'll answer them all tomorrow. I went in the bathroom and got ready for a shower. I slowly got in, feeling the warm water on my back. Showers always calmed me down. I took about thirty minutes and then I got out. I dried my hair and put on some sweats and one of Hunter's hoodies. I turned the bathroom light off and walked across the hall to me and Hunter's room. Hunter was laying on the bed watching Sports Center. I laid down beside him and put my head on his shoulder.
"It'll get better babe, it'll all get better."
-------------------------------------------------------I hope you guys enjoyed :)) I'll try to update again soon!!
