Denis

I Wish You Could Save Me, There's Something Lost Inside

I watched him lay in that hospital bed, I imagined what was going through his mind. I wished I could take on his problems and carry them for him. We just sat in silence, and the rest of the guys sat in the hallway. I went to run my fingers through his hair, but he pulled away.
"Denis?," I asked. No response.
"Denis talk to me, please." I begged.
"What do you want me to say?" He mumbled.
"You could start by telling me why you were going to,"
"Kill myself?" He said, cutting me off, and sitting up as he said it. I nodded slightly. I couldn't look at him.
"I, thought I hurt you by mentioning Dasha, and I didn't think you loved me anymore and I didn't think I deserved you." He choked out.
"That's not true at all Denis, I was just scared." I tried to reassure him.
"Then why did I hear you crying on the phone?" He asked.
"I didn't know what had happened to you. I didn't know where you were, what had become of you, all I could think was the absolute worst." I replied.
"You, you care about me that much?" Denis said, obviously in shock.
"Denis, I love you." I said.
"I love you too." He said, fighting not back tears. I climbed into the hospital bed to hold him. He needed it. As he rested his head on my shoulder he said.
"I feel so stupid. I'm the one who's supposed to be strong. I want to take care of you, not the other way around."
"Denis, that's not what love is supposed to be. Love is being able to fall on each other in hysteria and holding each other up in joy." I say, resting my hand in his head. He broke down into tears again, and seeing him cry, I just couldn't take it, and I broke down too.
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At the hospital they diagnosed me with depression. Surprise, surprise. Still, hearing the doctor say it, it hurt. I didn't want to be sick. As we walked out, she said she would meet us at the taxi in a minute. We all stepped in and she just stood leaning against the building with her hands covering her face. I heard her scream as loud and long as she could. I don't blame her. She's stressed and frustrated. I could feel my eyes widen as a figure walk up to her, and they start talking. I can feel anger boiling in me as she brushes away her tears at this man, and manage a small smile. The longer they talk the less sad she becomes. Before she walks away she hugs him around the neck. I felt so angry, I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. Tears of rage. As she stepped into the car I demanded
"Who the fuck was that!?" She looked sad and scared. She should be.
"What!?" She squeaked out. Playing dumb. Typical.
"Who. Was. That! Tell me right now, goddammit!" I shout. She stiffened up. Now she was pissed. She had no right to be pissed at me.
"Andy Biersack." She stated boldly.
"Two cheating sacks of shit. Match made in heaven." I mumble under my breath.
"What did you just say about me!?" She snapped.
"You heard." I said.
She turned away from me, and we ride back to the bus in silence. As we stepped on she said
"I'll sleep on the couch."
"You can borrow my pillow." James said. I stared at him with wide eyes.
"I got an extra blanket you can have." Cameron replied. I was completely shocked. They took her side? She mumbled a thank you and hugged both of them right in front of me. As soon as bathroom door closed behind her the words flew out of my mouth.
"You're taking her side!?"
"You flipped out over nothing man! All she did was hug him. Maybe he said something that helped her." Sam said.
"But, but he hugged her back!" I said, trying to find an excuse to stay angry.
"He was probably comforting her. For fuck's sake man, you need to stop being so paranoid!" James snapped.
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As I walked out of the bathroom Denis asked to talk to me alone.
Oh fuck, what's he want to talk about?
We walked to the back of the bus, and he sat me down on the couch. He took my hand and got down on his knees in front of me.
"Fera, I was a complete dickhead, I didn't trust you, and I was paranoid. I love you but I didn't act like it. Will you please forgive me?" He begged.
"Denis, I wasn't right either. I was paranoid about Dasha. It wasn't just you that fucked up. I'm sorry too." I reply.
"I love you and only you, Fera." He stated. We both stood up, but he scooped me up off my feet and carried me out to where the guys were bridal-style.
"Hey guys, we're cool, were made up, we still love each other, now who needs a drink?" Denis shouted. All the guys raised their hands, Denis set me down ever so gently, and we cracked open the liquor. We all sat down at a table in the kitchen area, an just talked, well mainly roasting each other,  and before we realized it we were wasted. Then came the infamous "Drunk Accent Challenge".
"I am the worst at doing accents!" James said in a crappy Italian accent.
"Shut up and pass the Jack!" Sam said in a made up sounding accent.
"What the fuck accent was that!?" I asked.
"That was Irish, lassie. I thought you  would've recognized that." Sam said smugly.
"You're talking to an Irish girl, numb nuts, that sounded more like crack addict than Irish." Denis stated with a smirk. After a while we decided we were hammered enough for one night. Denis hadn't had much, though. Guess he thought he had to take care of me. I almost felt like it was my fault for him thinking he had to take care of me. I wish, I only wish he knew what I wanted him to.