Pendulum

Seven

That night, I lay on the bed looking at the ceiling – while Avi was asleep, his head nestled in between both of our pillows. I was afraid to fall asleep because this was where I'd had most of my visions. I moved his outstretched arm away as slowly as possible and slid off the bed – pulling my hair up into a ponytail and sinking into the sofa by the windows. I focused on my breathing, and darkness took over me.

"Hey," he whispered in my ear.

I let my fingers trace the lines on his palm while we enjoy the soft breeze that blow my hair in all directions. His hands close over my wrists, guiding them around his waist – and I smile. I run my fingers across the fabric of his shirt, and kiss his jaw, before resting my head on his chest.

"I love you."

"Love you too."

I woke up with a jolt, slapping a hand over my mouth to stop myself from gasping out loud. Running to the bathroom, I splashed water on my face – willing the shock to go away as the ice cold water touched my skin. I slid down to the cold, hard floor as I fought to regain control over my breathing. My heart continued pounding as I slid under the covers. I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night, not after a vision. The next morning, I had to pretend to rub my eyes before looking at him. He propped himself up on his elbow, his eyes searching mine.

"Did you sleep well?" his voice was still thick with sleep.

I nodded, and he shook his head. 

He pointed at the dark circles under my eyes. "You're lying."

"No," but my voice wavered – both of us knew it wasn't true.

He sighed. "You can tell me, you know."

I pulled back from him, not sure if I felt angry or embarrassed. He frowned, watching me carefully. I raised my hand to run my fingers through my hair but then realised that my hair was up in a ponytail. I let my hand drop to my side and groaned, frustrated – causing Avi to get off the bed and walk towards me.

I held up a hand. "I'm fine."

He kneeled on the floor to take a look at me, his shoulders slumped, looking defeated.

"I had another vision last night," I mumbled.

He looked up, his brows furrowed. "What did you see?"

I shook my head. "You don't want to hear it."

"I want to."

Something between a sigh and a groan escaped my mouth as I tried to delay my response as much as possible. He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, waiting. I dug my nails into my palm and got up.

"I had a vision of what possibly was a past life or something. I was sitting with this man, and we seemed to be in love. I don't know what or why this is happening now, and I don't want to know because this scares me so so much. I just want all of this to stop, I never wanted any of this," I blurted.

I was pacing, my nails digging so deep into my palms that they hurt – but I wasn't focusing on the pain at all. I was trying to understand, and the frustration made me want to punch a wall. He stopped me, and I shrugged his arm off me. His grip on me strengthened, and I couldn't pull away from him – he let me struggle for as long as possible, till I gave up.

"Shhhh."

"I don't know what's happening, Avi," I whispered, my voice breaking.

He wrapped me in his arms, and I gave in – pulling him closer to me as I let out a sob.

He rubbed a hand up and down my back in soothing patterns, silent.

My voice was thick after all the crying I'd done. "I'm sorry for ruining your shirt."

"It's perfectly fine," he said softly, pulling back to look at me.

I stiffened, pushing him away from me. "I'm feeling better now."

"What's wrong? You never let me touch you for more than a few seconds," he sighed.

"There's nothing wrong with you, it's just something I'm not used to. You're a stranger who married me for some royal agreement between two kingdoms – that's not exactly something I'm comfortable with."

His eyes flashed at those words. "I didn't marry you for 'some royal agreement', I married you because I liked you."

He had turned away from me, a mix of hurt and anger. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sure you are," he muttered, walking out of the room.