this is where i wanna be this is where i wanna be
the room felt hot as i sat up in my bed. the stale light poured into my room through cracks in my door and i heard the whispers of nurses. it felt late, it must be. im not sure if I've slept for long- maybe I have. we don't have clocks here, so I don't know what time of day it is most of the time. all I know now is that our 'bedtime' is half nine.
im awake, im awake. I blink.
'sunny, oh sunny please.' a voice speaks. raiya. I stay silent, how is she here?
'sunny, i can't believe your well, are you well?' the lamp clicks on and the white haired girl sits on my nailed down armchair.
'raiya, you're- yes I am well. how did you get in?' I speak, jumping out of my bed and rushing over.
'don't touch sun,' she speaks and I reach for her. Frowning, I take a step back and observe her.
she looked the same, her eyes still as red and puffy as they were when I left. she cried a lot that day. her hair looked lighter, and her eyes seemed darker.
'of course im well!' I grin. 'why are you here?' I watch her as she stands up and picks some things up on the desks.
'too see you, my love.' she grins back at me and picks up a notebook.
'SUNNY'S NOTEPAD' she speaks. 'let me guess, is this filled with polaroid pics, flowers, candy wrappers and more?' she keeps a serious face but then bursts into laughter. 'oh come on, sunny. you know I'm joking.'
this feels different. her presence feels different, not like it usually is. her good vibes are being drained out of her and im left with a sad cloud of a best friend. 'I know your joking rai, it's just-'
'I know, I haven't seen you in long.' she drops a pencil sharperener on the floor and we stare at it as it bounces a few times before stopping. the noise echoed through the room.
'god raiya, you'll alert the nurses, I'm not supposed to be awake.' I hiss.
'they can't hear me.' she smiles and picks it up. 'I've come to speak with you.' she sets a plastic plant pot back down and looks at me.
'things aren't good back home babe.' she sighs and sits down beside me but keeps a gap between us.
'what do you mean? things are fine back home, mum said in her letter. don't lie to my rai, i don't like being lied to, especially when I have no proof or knowledge of what actually is going on.'
'I'm not lying to you. things really aren't good.' i stare at her, urging her to go on.
'well go on then- don't leave me waiting.' she stands back up and walks to the corner of my desk, fiddling with a loose string on her woolly cardigan.
'your mum.' raiya spoke. 'a letter came the other day. I overheard your mum and rob talking about it. something about your- your sentencing here or something.' she closed her hazel eyes and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.
'you mean the amount of time i'll be in here?' my heart rate sped up.
she nodded. her face filled with pity. 'they signed to four years sunny.'
the words lay heavy on my chest. I didn't understand, rob understood. rob understood. he promised me he would help me leave here, he held my hand gently when mum dragged me through the doors and he told me i was going to be okay when mum said i was losing my mind. warm tears rolled down both cheeks and I began to cry. quietly in case the nurses heard.
'did rob agree with her? did he?' i cried. i stared at her, i forgot to blink during the long period of her not knowing what to say. my eyes started to burn so i rubbed them.
'did he? why aren't you answering?' i screamed, choking on my words. it felt like moments after but i think it was longer. i emptied myself onto the marble floor in front of me, loud cries following after.
the door flew open and my eyes darted to the spot where raiya stood. 'raiya.' i shouted. 'where did you go?'
'hey, hey.' a boy kneeled in front of me, his bright eyes glowing under the white light spilling into the room from the hallway. his cheeks were red, exposing how flustered he was.
'did you see her?' i pointed to where she stood. the nurse looked to where i pointed wearily, fear showing on his face. ' i don't know where she went.' i spoke in sobs and he continued to look at me.
'no, i didn't see anybody.' he shook his head.
'where is fern?' i spoke blandly.
'what?' he furrowed his dark brows.
'where is fern.'
'oh uh, she's not here, she went home at eight- did nobody tell-'
'what are you doing harry?' a nurse stood at the door, a clipboard in her hand. harry snapped his head back at her and back at me.
' i heard shouting so i came in.' he clears his throat.' uh, she said she saw someone, i don't know.' he runs his fingers back through his brown hair in frustration.
'i did see someone.'
'what did you see?' she walks towards me and i push myself back in my bed. i stayed silent not answering her. two pairs of eyes kept on me before the nurses eyes moved to the floor and back up to me.
'go inform a cleaner we need assistance in room 174.' the nurse harry glanced at her and then back at me, he seemed to be doing this a lot. 'now, harry.' her eyes burned into his before he hesitated before turning and leavingthrough the open door. the nurse closed the door and looked at my information in the clear frame glued on the wall beside the door.
'sunny, pretty name for a pretty girl.' she smiles sweetly at me. i frown and wipe the corners of my mouth. the dried vomit on my mouth flaked onto my hand and i gagged.
'my brother chose it.' i mumbled into my chest. my head throbbed and i knew it cause it felt like the pulsing washed through my body but the pain didn't seem to register quite yet.
'is that who you saw? your brother?' i looked up at her.
'no.'
'mother, father, sister, boyfriend, best friend-'
'ding ding ding ding.'
she chuckled. 'aw, think she was trying to send you a message?'
' did it go something like; sunny, you wouldn't believe it, stacey got with jason when she knew i liked jason but i guess it's okay cause i got with her boyfriend last summer.' she mocked me and waved her arms all around the place making my head spin.
'things have changed since the 70's, ms degree.'
she lay her clipboard down on my bedside table and crossed her arms. 'you've a lot of attitude for a girl who just hallucinated a friend right in front of her eyes, don't you?'
'oh-' i began my sentence but i choked on my words and the liquid poured into my veins in my neck. i tried to move my neck to look at the nurse but it hurt and the needle kept me in place. the image in front of me blurred.
'lights out sunbear.'
------------------------------------------------------------
bad chapter sorryyyYYYY
that nurse is a absolute babe rightttttttttrttrrrrttttttttttttttttttttttttt lolzo JK bitch
can u imagine baby harry all flustered and shit?,?
