Walk of shame (Bucky Barnes)

Part 14

It was time for you to return to the tower, your last session with Steve and Bucky helped you ground yourself and had you feeling like yourself again, you knew that Bucky had a lot to do with it but you thought that after the last time you closed yourself off you were so deeply appalled by your actions that you could never really return to that place again which was a good thing since it would never get that bad ever again. You still had nightmares and Steve was always the one to pull you out of them whilst Bucky silently watched you from a safe distance. You honestly didn't know what you would do without Steve.

He became the one you leaned on and you loved him like family. Bucky and you hadn't had much contact since you confessed how you felt about him and you were giving him his space because you were sure that he needed it as did you. He talked to you though so it was an improvement even if he did just talk about trivial things. The tension between you both was still there and it only intensified.

You were sure that Steve was going crazy with all the quick glances and secret smiles and you wondered who would be the one to give in first. You had a long flight ahead of you so you dressed in comfy clothing not thinking much about your appearance. After dressing yourself, you took your bag and went downstairs to see if the guys were ready to go.

Upon walking downstairs you could hear them talking in the kitchen, they were whispering so you couldn't make out the words but when you walked inside, they stopped talking so you knew they were talking about you. Paying no regard you greeted them both and took a water bottle out of the fridge to take with you.

When you turned around they were looking at you and you rolled your eyes and cried out "What?" your indignation made Steve laugh at you before responding "You look good, Y/N, happy" you glanced at Bucky but he was too busy glaring at Steve to notice your gaze on him and you smiled "Thanks, Steve, I am happy" you said. Steve nodded and stood up telling you both to get your bags so we could leave. Since there were no threats the jet would land in front of the safe house to take you home and you looked around the safe house for a moment taking everything in before sighing and walking out to board the jet. You made yourself comfortable and fell asleep almost instantly.

Bucky's POV

I didn't know what to do anymore, the conversation with Steve this morning was the same as the last past days. Telling me to just talk to her, tell her how I feel since he was going mad with the tension hanging between us. I gave up on my co-pilot duties and sat down in a chair across from Y/N. I watched her sleep and I feel like a creep but I can't take my eyes off her. Everything that happened between us and everything I was angry about disappeared the moment she told me how much she needed me and I honestly need her to, that was obvious when she took my hand in hers and I immediately felt calmer. Steve wouldn't shut up about it this morning making me incredibly frustrated because I didn't know how to make it right.

Steve told me everything that was said during their sessions and so I knew what happened with Daniel but it honestly didn't matter to me, I know what it's like to do things without control over your own mind and I had more kills after my name than anyone I knew. It made me love her even more knowing that she was so strong to get past the things she did, to try and redeem herself by doing good. I know she still has a long way to go but I could clearly see the difference between how she is now and how she was a couple days back. her eyes are light again and when I look at her I can see the emotions swirling in them so I knew she was getting there.

I knew that I should at least talk to her and make her see my side before we could proceed with whatever was going on between us but she makes me nervous and she hates when I look at her like I can see everything but she does the same to me and she doesn't even know it. I knew she had a lot of issues to work through, especially Daniel related issues.

I can't help but smile when I see her so peaceful right now, like she doesn't have a care in the world even though it was only a couple of hours ago when she screamed out because of a nightmare. It was always Steve pulling her out. I didn't trust myself enough to do it since I don't even know how to pull myself out of a nightmare. I stand up and walk towards her and gently caress her cheek, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear before lowering my head and kissing the crown of her head, sighing to myself I sit back down and contemplate on what to do.

Y/N POV

When you woke up, Bucky was sitting in front of you and his eyes were fixed on yours. You smiled at him softly before sitting in an upright position again and took your phone out of your bag to see if you had any messages from Nat or Hill. When you saw you had none you put it back and focused on Bucky again. He was still looking at you and it made you feel unnerved, you were writhing and tried to look anywhere but at him but it was like there was a magnetic pull between you both and you kept glancing at him. There was a lot of sexual tension between you and you were frustrated wanting him to make a move already so you could do something about it but apparently he enjoyed watching you lose your mind because that's what's happening right now. You shake your head to try and clear your head but it doesn't work, there are still images of Bucky touching you and kissing you floating around in your mind and you felt like screaming but then you got an idea.

Standing up you walk the short distance towards Bucky and sit down beside him before turning your body towards his and look at him from under your lashes but he kept smirking so you placed your hand on his knee, slowly trailing it higher and higher, you were aware of his shallow breathing and you smiled to yourself, happy to know you had an effect on him, when your hand grazed the front of his pants he growled and you chuckled but you kept touching him, feeling him grow harder under your touch. He put his hand on yours squeezing it but you didn't stop wanting him to feel as frustrated as you are.

"Guys, we're here" Steve said from his pilot seat and you jolted at the interruption, not having realised he already landed the plane. You slowly pull your hand back and look at Bucky, his eyes are dark with lust, you wink at him before taking your bag and walking out of the plane not waiting for them since you had a debriefing to go to and you really wanted to talk to Hill about everything that happened, hoping that she could shed some light on what you should do. You couldn't help but think about what just happened and you squealed with glee at the thought of him being affected by just your touch, thinking about a plan to tease him just enough that he couldn't take it anymore and he would just take you to bed.