Empty

Chapter 4

I pull my shirt over my head and place it on top of Father's wounds. I try to stop the blood from coming out but it continues to seep out. Father just stares up at the ceiling breathing silently. I watch his chest rise and fall, hoping it will continue its rhythm. I hope once I save him, he'll actually change and turn back into my old daddy.

"Harmony! Call 911!"

"What did you do now?" She shouts back.

"JUST DO IT!" I roar.

I hear her run toward the kitchen phone and dial 911. A couple minutes later she comes into the room and helps me put him on the bed.

"We have to tell them it was self defense," I say while picking up his shoulders.

"What do you think will happen after he's in the hospital? Where will we go?" Harmony asks, struggling to pick up his legs.

I stare blankly at her say "Wherever God takes us," not believing my own words.

When we finally get him on the bed, I decide I should start packing, but first I rip my shirt and wrap it around his stomach. I shuffle to my room and pack every single thing I lay my eyes on- which isn't much. I come across a necklace Father gave me on my birthday. It's a heart that says 'Daughter' written in cursive. Father has the other half that says 'Daddy'. I put on the necklace and go on with my packing. Once I'm done, I walk over to my door and admire my jail cell. It's empty, just like me. All you see is a mattress on the floor and a small dresser. I can never go back to this room. The room where Father would lock Harmony and I in with no food, the room that had witnessed so many things. I wish I was Harmony, because Father goes easy on her. Maybe it's because she reminds him of Mom. She has a very pretty room painted all pink and her bed is covered with stuffed animals. She's 16, but is still a child. I just hope she isn't as damaged as I am. I look away and walk over to the kitchen where Harmony is serving herself a bowl of Cheerios. I drop my bag next to our couch and go sit next to her.

"You enjoying them Cheerios?" I nudge her, trying to lighten up the mood.

"They're wonderful," she says with her mouth filled with Cheerios.

"How long till they get here?"

"They said in about 30 minutes," she replies.

"Those are lies," I say walking over to the bathroom "they'll probably be here in an hour or so."

I brush my teeth and when I'm done I turn on the shower. I take the rest of my clothes off and walk into the steaming water. I just stand there letting the water hit my face. What will we do when they take Father? Where will we go? Where will I work? Where will we live? Questions I have to find answers to. Los Angeles is a very dangerous place, but there are also many motels and jobs around. I can work as a waitress and Harmony and I can live in a motel until I get enough money to rent an apartment. But what will happen with Dad when he gets out of the hospital? Will he come looking for us? Will I have to go to court? Those are questions I don't wanna think about right now. But what will happen? I grab a sponge and start to scrub my skin furiously. I want to scrub off all my worries and stress away.

I want to be clean inside and out.

I don't want to be broken and empty inside.

I want to be new again.

I want to be fixed.

But how will that happen if I have lost everything? That hole in my heart will never be filled again.

I'm a puzzle and all my pieces are missing.

I once was whole.

I had all my pieces and I was beautiful.

But not anymore.