Prismatic ⇒ Avengers [ 2 ]

Gifted/Cursed

"Why didn't you warn me?" I hiss, my fingers still clamped around Tony's upper arm as he strides along after the principal, sending small, thoughtless waves at the gaping people around us. "Tony, I can't go to Juilliard."
"Why not? You'd rather go to a third-rate establishment with an untuned piano?" He asks out of the corner of his mouth as we walk through the entrance atrium. "What's the problem? It looks half decent."
Half decent. I can't believe this. "Why would they even want me? I'm a- I'm a monster."

Tony's arm tightens suddenly, and he takes a sharp breath as the word leaves my mouth.
"Don't ever call yourself that." He says, very softly, the gold of his voice as sharp as a knife's edge, trembling across the top of my vision.  I open my mouth, but then close it again, a little intimidated at how forceful he sounds.
"This is the best music school in America," I continue, changing tack, "I'm not good enough! I haven't had a lesson in years."
"Nowhere's too good for you." Tony dismisses as we're led off a side corridor, climbing a short flight of stairs that ends in a grey door with a name engraved onto a plaque.

SHAHID. It must be the principal's name, as she holds the door open for both of us. Tony takes off his sunglasses, neatly folding them and sliding them into his breast pocket, where the grey silk square once sat. The sound of the principal's high heels on the floor is a soft orange clicking, that fades as she moves around the desk.

"Please, take a seat- my name is Ms Shahid, I'm the dean of students here." Dean, not principal. Right. Her voice is a rich, chocolate brown, with the barest hints of an accent as she brushes invisible specks of dust from her outfit. Slightly in awe of how perfect her makeup is, I sit down after a dazed delay, knotting my hands together to play with my knuckles. "Mr Stark, may I say what an honour it is to have you and your daughter here today."

Daughter. It's a jolting word, even now. I have a father.

"Well, we thought we'd have a look around- I'm told there's no better place for a musician to learn." Tony says, utterly at ease in the office as I look around. There are a few photos on the walls, and as I look, I realise they're mostly celebrities- actors, musicians, all beaming down, clutching diplomas or shaking hands with people. Did they all go here? Behind the principal, the whole wall is glass, looking down over the foyer of the school.

"What do you play, Miss Stark?" The principal asks, lacing her hands together and angling her body slightly towards me.
"Um, piano- you can call me Brynn, though. I mean, you don't have to-" she smiles softly.
"Whatever makes you most comfortable. I started out playing piano, too."
"Do you play other things, too?" Tony asks, sounding genuinely interested, his smile ever-charming.

"Flute, guitar, harp, and violin- though I've only ever taught piano." I swallow nervously. Is everyone here that talented? I haven't even had formal lessons- apart from those disastrous hours at school in Ireland. "Most students only specialise in one field, don't worry." Apparently she's seen my panicked expression. "I must ask- do you love music?"

"Yes." I've rarely answered anything with so much confidence. Yes. Without doubt. I love music. I love to play. Yes.
She smiles again, and I finally feel like I've answered something correctly. "Our ideal student is someone fiercely involved, fiercely devoted. No matter how much money someone has, we cannot take a pupil without the thirst for learning." Her words are pointed, directed at Tony. "We want curiosity, about music and it's impact in the world, but we also need dedication. The desire to improve is as important as the urge to play."

What she's saying makes sense, but it doesn't make me any less terrified. Am I devoted? Do I have a thirst for learning? I haven't set foot in a school in over two years! Curious about the world? I can barely leave the tower without panicking, unless I'm beating someone up! This is a bad idea. This is an awful idea. There's no way I'm good enough for this place.