My encounter with life #Wattys2016 #JustWriteIt

Chapter 14

"Those who have the strength and the love to sit with a dying patient in the silence that goes beyond words will know that this moment is neither frightening nor painful but a peaceful cessation of the functioning of the body" – Elisabeth Kubler

I had copied this quotation in my diary long back. And today finally the real meaning got unveiled. There comes a time when you want your loved one's suffering to end, and sometimes death stands as the only cure.

January never felt this cold. A dimly lit room, a cloudy grey night and a soul captured inside a pained body. I wanted to open the cage and let the bird fly. But there's a fixed time for everything and the invisible God has plans even for a dying person I guess. I sat beside her. Her eyes were closed but flickered at times intimating me of her existence. I wasn't scared of losing her anymore. She was taking her last breaths and I was witnessing her nostrils while she breathed. There prevailed pin drop silence in the room and it was just her breathe that vibrated my ear drum. I wondered if she was dreaming anything, just like we see in the movies. I held her cold hand and touched her nails, the bitten corners and dry cuticles suggested her anxiety. Suddenly she opened her eyes. I didn't say a word neither did she. She looked into my eyes and I wondered if she could see deep down into my soul and discover the unuttered words. And then I noticed a little smile at the corner of her lips. I smiled too. And then she closed her eyes again. She was still alive. And I sat beside her until the cessation of the functioning of her body. 1:27A.M. God opened the cage and the bird flew away, higher into the fathomless sky to some other destination however, painlessly. Alisha died.

**

Six months have passed and I still check her last seen ever morning. And every time I open her chat window, anxiety surrounds me; what if it suddenly turns into online? It will not. I know.

"I'm not feeling well Aditya. Can we not go tomorrow?" I said over the phone.

"The plan was made solely for you to feel better Miss Bose" he said.

"Hmm..."

"Nisha please?!" he said in a very cute voice.

"You know it very well, that this is my ultimate weakness."

"Ah-ha and what is that?"

"Come on"

"Come on tell me Nisha what is your ultimate weakness?" I could sense the mischievous smile on his face.

"This!"

"What this?"

"You calling me by my first name is my ultimate weakness"

"Okay Nisha."

"Bye" I laughed.

"Bye Nisha."

"Would you stop?"

"No Nisha"

"Bye" I said and hung up and smiled like a fool for some time.

"WILL PICK YOU IN THE EVENING. LOVE YOU. NISHA!" He messaged.

I planned to spend the afternoon with my books. It has been a long time I didn't clean them and managed my shelves. I kept all the books on the floor and sat between them. The combined smell of new and old books engulfed the whole room and left me mesmerized. There was a stack of books that I'd given to Alisha. I rifled through the pages of the books and touched it just the way she must've touched them. I found a folded piece of paper in the middle of a book. I opened it and read:

"I have never been much of a thoughtful person. Neither did I indulge myself in the business of going deep into the layers of life. I've always lived in the present and tried to enjoy every second of my life. I've never been alone and I never felt lonely because I've always been surrounded by people. And I'm not regretful because I've really enjoyed that phase of time. All I despise is the fact that I never spent time with me, with myself. Now when I'm not in a state to go out and seek fun my only resort is to sit with me. I read books. And I'm thankful to Nishu that she introduced me to this beautiful world of words. With every novel, with every author I enter into a new world. It feels like I get to live a thousand lives in one lifetime. Only I wish I had spent more time with me I would've got to read more and see more. But then this is nothing but a dying person's alibi to live more.

I was going through some old pictures and I found this photograph where I and Nishu are hugging each other. Best friends forever. Unfortunately, I will not make it to forever. I can only become a small span of time in her forever. But I know her, she will never forget me and she will never let go of me. In our friendship she has always been the dedicated one. And I'm sure even when I will be taking my last breath she will be sitting by my side holding my hand. I know I never thanked her. Not because I'm not thankful but because it will take me a lifetime to thank her, which I certainly don't have. But I'll thank her at the time when I will be leaving my body when I'll be the most honest version of myself, when my soul will taste sanctity. I will be smiling for the last time and even if every cell of my body pains and gives me a million deaths in that very moment I'll still manage to smile. And then she will smile back and I'll rest in peace."

I kept the page inside the book and kept it aside because I didn't wanted her beautiful slant handwriting to be erased by the flood of tears that made its way down through my cheeks. She knew me more than anyone in this whole world and she was right when she wrote that I'll never forget her that I'll never let go of her. I'll keep her alive.