Nathan

Chapter 13

~•¤ Chapter 13 ¤•~

I lazily got off of the couch and opened the door, knowing that it was Marie who rang the bell. I called her an hour ago and told her to come over since I wasn't feeling well at all. I needed someone by my side cause I was too fragile to stay alone. I needed someone to soothe me, to tell me that everything will be okay, but I had no one except for Marie. "Oh honey" she gave me a sad look and embraced me tightly into a warm hug. I hugged her back wanting to stay that way all night long. I needed one of those hugs were you feel like you're comfortable and you don't think about anything else. And thank God I had Marie with me.

"Come in" I gestured for her to enter when I pulled away, then we both walked to the couch in the living room. I cuddled myself into the blanket I brought from my room as Marie sat beside me. She looked at me and her eyes roamed around my bad looking self. My face was practically white like there was no blood going through my veins and my eyes were red and swollen from all the crying, and my lips were dry and cracked. Not to mention my hair that was up in a messy bun. I looked like garbage. I wasn't even close to the normal Natalie who always took care of herself and her look.

"Honey, why are you doing this to yourself. He's just a guy. These stuff happen with everyone. You're not the first nor the last girl that got her heart broken by a guy. Those are boys, they play and dump us whenever they want. Weren't you the one who told me that we should let these stuff go? Don't do this to yourself. He's not worth it" she lectured and I was on the verge of tears. She was right, absolutely right, but it hurt so much that I couldn't ignore it.

"Oh come on, smile. I'm here right? I won't leave until you forget about that filthy jerk". I chuckled at her use of words as she stood up. "You know what? I'm gonna make us hot chocolate and I'll put those small marshmallows on top of the mug, and I won't forget the chips" she said and I smiled at her. "Thank you honey but I'm not hungry" I said and cuddled more into my blanket. "It will help you forget the pain. Trust me" she insisted and walked to the kitchen.

I looked at the t.v screen in front of me and saw Pretty Little Liars playing. I liked the idea of the show so I didn't mind spending my time watching it. After about ten minutes, Marie came back with a tray in her hands which carried two mugs of hot chocolate and a bowl of chips. She gave me a mug and took one for herself and sat back beside me. I thanked her and took a sip. It tasted nice, sweet and warm. Exactly what I liked. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the taste of the drink going through my throught. "You like it, ha?" Marie asked smirking at me. "I chuckled and nodded my head, not feeling like talking.

"So did you start working on the piece you'll give for the competition?" she asked and I shook my head, which caused her to gasp. "I have no idea on what to write, and specially not at this time. I'm spending all my energy on school and work that I have no time to write" I explained and she sighed. "I know how much it's important to you. So if you need help at anything I'll be here at anytime" she said and I hugged her.

Suddenly the door bell rang and Marie gave me a confused look. "Are you expecting anyone?" she asked and I shook my head in denial. "Not really" I said and was ready to get up when she stopped me. "Stay here, I'll open it". I gave her a thankful smile as she went and opened the door. I kept looking at her but I still didn't know who came. Suddenly her voice started to raise and I heard some parts of her conversation with whoever it was.

"No, you can't come in" "No leave already" "I swear if you didn't leave I'll call the police" those sentences made get up and walk to her. When I got closer I saw Nathan standing in front of her, and immediately his gaze turned from her to me. "Natalie" he said, which caused Marie to turn back and look at me. "We need to talk" he spoke again and Marie said "Don't worry Nat, I'll make him leave. Just go back". "No it's okay. I wanna know what he has to say" I said and looked at him, with the frown never leaving my face. "Are you sure?" she asked looking at me sympathetically. "I'll be fine" I assured and she nodded her head.

She glared at Nathan one last time then walked back to the living room leaving us alone. I stood in front of him and said "Why are you here? If you're planning to get me to forgive you then you should leave already. I don't want to let it slip away then you hurt me again and do the same thing all the time". "I do want you to forgive me Natalie. But it's different this time" he spoke and looked right through my eyes. I chuckled and said "It's always different Nathan". "No I'm serious Natalie. You have to forgive me. I'm truely sorry" he apologized and I immediately said "Save it Nathan. It won't work this time"

"Look, I'll be leaving tomorrow. This is the last time you'll see me and I know that you don't want to talk to me, but at least don't stay mad" he explained and I grimaced. "What do you mean?" I asked and crossed my arms. He sighed and said "I'll leave Natalie, somewhere really far. But I can promise you that you'll know the explanation to my behavior and all the answers for your questions later on. Just forgive me" he begged and I didn't know what to say so I stayed silent. He surprised by hugging me but I stayed frozen in my place.

I refused to lose my strength and hug him, cause I knew that if I did I'll give up. He pulled away and looked me in the eyes and said "Please forgive me it's important. I just hope that you'll find the right guy for you, who will make you happy, unlike me. I'm sure that you'll find someone way better than me. Just take care of yourself" I saw how he struggled to say those words to me, but I refused to give up easily. He turned on his heals and started walking away, but I couldn't hold my anger anymore. 

"You know what, it's the best for the both of us that you're going to leave. Finally you're going to do something sensible!" I shouted enough for only him to hear me. He turned back to me, and walked my way again. "You don't understand. I'm not leaving because I want to. I'm leaving because I have to!" he explained. "Where are you going?" I asked and felt the breath get stuck in my throught, as I felt my eyes get watery. "You'll know that later.  Along with the other answers".

"You always refuse to answer anything I ask Nathan, that's exactly what got us to this point. You're the one who doesn't understand anything, not me. I tried my hardest to keep up with you even though you've hurt me multiple times. I didn't complain about you not telling me anything about yourself but now I'm the one who's mistaken. You just like to blame me don't you?" I shouted angrily at him with some tears already falling from my eyes. I saw how hurt he was but I had to tell him everything I felt. I couldn't keep my emotions hidden specially that he was leaving tomorrow to God only knows where. "You can't alway be like this, you should-" I tried to continue, but he suddenly crashed his lips into mine and I felt weak again, just like yesterday. Why did he have such a strong affection on me? Why couldn't I just stop him? Why did I have to be so weak? 'Because you love him' my subconscious answered but I refused to believe it.

I pulled away and looked at him right in the eyes. He rested both of his hands on my cheeks and wiped my tears away with his thumbs, then said "I'm sorry. I'll never hurt you again. And you'll know ever single thing that crossed your mind about me soon, okay? Just promise me one thing. You won't stay mad at me" he uttered looking me right in the eyes. I looked down at my feet and said "I'll see about that" refusing to give up so easily. His hands dropped down from my face and he said "I have to go now. Goodbye". I looked up at him and watched him as he slowly walked away, but before he reached his car, he looked back at me and gave me smile. I looked away and heard him ride his car, then he drove away.

I slowly closed the door and saw Marie looking at me with a sad look and I felt my lips tremble. She hugged me again and I started sobbing in her arms. "It's okay Nat" she rubbed my back and added "I heard everything the both of you said. Wanna hear my openion?". I nodded and she continued. "I think that you should forgive him. The way he spoke and what he said made me realize that he loves you. I'm pretty sure that there's a strong reason behind his actions. Don't let him leave". I looked up at her confused and asked "Weren't you the one who called him a filthy jerk half an hour ago?".

She chuckled and said "That was before I heard the way he was talking to you". I wiped my tears away and said "I don't know. I'll have to think about it". We walked back to the couch and she said "I can sleepover if you'd like". "Sure" I smiled at her. I definitely couldn't be alone, I needed company. Specially with Nathan coming back. But I was stuck between forgiving him and not. I was seriously confused from his words. But I refused to let him play with mind. I guess I'll have to think about that later.