Stiles suddenly felt a little ill at this realisation. How had he become a dominant beta and not even realised?
He had thought he would feel really different as a dominent but he still felt the same. Well he supposed he felt more agitated over their situation and this urge that he just needed to do something, anything, just wouldn't leave him alone.
Once he had accepted that...
Wait a second.
For a split second Stiles mind went blank as he tried to recall his Alpha's name.
Once he had accepted that Derek wasn't coming, he had wallowed in sadness and hopelessness but those feelings no longer gripped him.
Instead he just wanted to find a way to escape.
Why wait for a rescue when he could be trying to figure out how to get them both out of here?
It just seemed like logical sense.
Stiles tried not to think about how he had almost forgotten Derek's name.
It was just a lapse in his memory!
It didn't mean anything!
Just a mind blank that sometimes people had, that was all.
Right...?
He then noticed that Lucy was still hunching in on herself, watching him warily.
He suddenly felt even more awful for snapping at her.
"I seriously didn't mean it, sorry. I... don't know what came over me" He hurriedly said.
"It's fine, I deserved it-" She said but it was more emotionlessly, like she was reading lines from a script.
Stiles shook his head, interrupting her as he said, turning away from her "No you didn't"
He added, his hands going through his hair, trying to calm himself down "We both don't deserve this"
It's not like he just accidentally forgot Derek's name for a split second.
It's not like he could just feel this frustration building and building inside him, with no where to vent.
It's not like he'd become a dominant without even realising it.
Yeah...
Yeah everything was fine!
Stiles let out a bitter chuckle.
Ugh this was so messed up!
Stiles hoped that once he got used to this new frustration at his situation, this fiery urge to vent and if he could just figure out a way past the guards perhaps he would feel calmer.
But things didn't happen the way he wanted it too.
As more time went by he started to forget Derek's name more often.
And this new violent rage at their situation was just hard to keep down.
He noticed Lucy becoming more nervous around him, less likely to look him in the eyes and less likely to speak her mind.
This new behaviour also made him feel even more upset with everything.
He also felt a simmering...annoyance?
But it wasn't only directed at her behaviour.
Is this...what he'd been like?
Is this what he had looked like?
YOU ARE READING
To Be Who I Am
FanfictionI'm a omega and I thought I had my entire life planned out. Turns out my life isn't something you can plan. The rules of my world and how I see it are changing... and maybe not for the better, this world needs to change.
