Alice is drowning, but it's not something she likes to admit, even to herself. She's stuck in a whirlwind of bad habits and bad influences. But on the night of a crazy outing, she meets Erik, who teaches her a little something about the meaning of l...
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The ride to my apartment building was silent and unnerving. I didn't know how to feel. Most people would say I'd just made a complete and utter fool of myself. And I would probably agree...given the circumstances. I'd just balled my eyes out in front of a gorgeous man who still had no idea why. By now, he knows he's never going to find out why.
He had tried to talk to me as I'd quickly exited the diner but I refused to fess up. I refused to feel again. Not yet. Maybe I'd let myself feel again when I'm alone, where I wouldn't have his lingering sorrowful eyes begging for answers.
I stare at my hands as we approach my apartment building, the morning rush hour just beginning to pick up. I dread the moments ahead.
The truth is, I don't want to say goodbye. I don't want Erik to leave. And I don't want this to end.
But we made a deal. And I have a life to, unfortunately, go back to. The wild thought does pop into my head, however, to ask him to run away with me. That might just make me look even more foolish than before. I didn't really know him at all.
It feels like heartbreak when we round the corner to beige brick walls and elegant gold structures. Back to the life where I don't belong—where I feel trapped.
For a fearful second, I wonder if London is here, angry, and already aware of my sabotage of his new Acura. He isn't though, because I know London. He's a prick with not many people who like him. So there'd be no reason to suspect me out of a long list of enemies. He also has money, so the first thing he'll do is get a fresh paint job. In fact, he's probably at the shop now, bright and early. Then, he'll come to check for his missing girlfriend.
"You can just pull up right there," I direct Erik with a pointed finger to the far side of the building. I'll take the side entrance, I don't want to draw attention to myself from others because of how I looked right now. A girl clad in a crop top and high-waisted booty shorts is not what tasteful white-collar men and women want to see in the morning.
Erik pulls up to the curb furthest away from the apartment's front entrance where a line of suited people awaits their drivers. Thankfully for me, the majority of them don't look further than the phone screen in their hands.
"This is it," I murmur, peeking over at Erik with low eyes. It's the first time I've looked at him since the diner.
I'm hesitant. Waiting for him to make a grand gesture, to say anything at all.
He sighs, "yeah, I guess that's it."
Not what I wanted him to say; but what did I expect. Him to be my prince charming and savior who'd lay on the gas and drive me far far away? They call that a fairytale for a reason.
He stares off at the busy street ahead and I feel I've lingered for moments too long. It only hurts worse as I open the door. I want to turn and say something but I've already shut the door. What would I have said anyway?
Mere seconds later his car is gone and puffing clouds as he rides off into the sunrise. Never to see each other again.
I scurry off to the apartment's side entrance, nearly stumbling to the ground as my vision gets blurry. I thought I was going to feel better when I was alone.
The stairwell door slams shut and I rest my back against the cool metal, trying and failing to relieve the quench in my throat as I restrain myself from sobbing. I guess my little trick didn't work for too long, cause I can feel the bad thoughts creeping their way back into the spotlight. I can't take it.
Flying up the stairs, I take them by two, reaching the 4th floor, then the 7th, and I don't stop on the 9th floor where my apartment resides, I keep going. I don't take a moment to breathe until I've reached the last step and throw the roof's door open, the hinges screaming at the force.
The sun is higher in the sky and its assault on my tearful eyes causes me to see rainbows of refracted light. It's blinding. Enough to distract for a mere moment of beauty, until the tears fall and the colors fade. Even the sun's inferno shine can't block the darkness I feel. All-consuming darkness.
I fall to my knees, face in my hands, and tears in a glistening fluid stream.
