Make Happy: An Hour full of laughs

Hell Yeah

[Female Robotic Voice]
Hello audience
Thank you for coming
You are here because you want to laugh
And you want to forget about your problems
But I cannot allow it
You should not laugh
You should not forget about your problems
The world is not funny
We are all dying
The world is not funny
Twelve percent of the world's population does not have access to clean drinking water
The world is not funny
Guy Fieri owns two functioning restaurants
The world is not funny
So then, now that we understand the context
Now that we realize how terribly un-funny the world is
Let's do this

[Music Starts, Male Voice]
Entertainers are not here to help you
They are here to control you
Never listen to them
Never give them what they want
And most importantly, never make some fucking noise!

[Bo Burnham]
Ladies, ladies if you feel me say 'Hell Yea!'
[Hell Yea!]
Fellas! Yea come on fellas let me hear you say 'Hell Yea!'
[Hell Yea!]
Virgins! If you haven't felt a person say 'Hell Yea!'
[Hell Yea]
If you can divide by zero, let me hear you say 'Hell Yea!'
[Hell Yea!]
No you can't. Mathematically impossible
Listen! Don't be Pavlovian
I'm looking for actual answers here
Trying to gather information
Let's go!
If you like drinking booze, let me hear you say 'Hell Yea!'
[Hell Yea!]
If you like smoking weed, let me hear you say 'Hell Yea!'
[Hell Yea!]
Gotcha
[Music stops, siren noises start]
Get these mother fuckers
(Get down on the ground, Get down on the ground!)
Pot is ruining America
(Where's the weed? Where's the weed?!)
(Yea, we got a room full of potheads, we're gonna need backup, over.)

Psych!
[Music starts again]
If you don't give a fuck about the law let me hear you say Fuck the Police!
[Fuck the Police!]
If that seems oversimplified to you, let me hear you say It's a really tough job and they're doing their best
[It's a really tough-]
If you know nothing about the conflict between Israel and Palestine and thus feel super uncomfortable weighing in on if you've read about it, let me hear you say no comment!
[No Comment!]
Good call, I have no idea what's going on over there
What're they fighting about?
They have similar hats

If you want to start the show, let me hear you say hell yea! Come on!
[Hell Yea!]
If my name's Bo... Whoops
I think you're done with this call and response shit
That's what I thought
Do you want me to get introspective?
Let's get introspective!
[Music change]
I can't wrap my mind around exactly why I'm here
I know you paid money, I should be funny
Other than that, I don't know why I'm here
To make you laugh, right? That's only half right
Look at the world. I don't know why I'm here
All this laughter can't
Feed starving Africans
I just hope I don't get more from this than you do
I would love to tell you that everything is fine
You want to be happy, well get in line!
[Music change]

Yea, this is almost musically incoherent at this point
Y'all ain't never seen a comedy show like this in your fucking life!
And for good reason, it gets old after a few minutes
You'll see
[Cheering]
Lets get this show going
Lets get this show started
Okay
1
2
3
4!
[Music stops]

So I was at the dentist the other day... Yea
[Cheering]
And nothing funny happened so I was like don't mention that on stage
I already fucked it up