[Intro]
We all want love
How many single ladies out there, looking for love tonight?
Wooo!!!
Yeah, woo that sadness out
Theres more where that came from
Ladies, I know what you want... want... want[Verse 1]
You want a guy that's sweet, a guy that's tough
A feminist who likes to pay for stuff
The kind of guy that gets along with your friends
Without being attracted to any of them
A good boy, a bad boy; a good bad boy;
A half good, half bad, half boy
Loves your brothers is sensitive but not weak and
Is a great lover, calls your mother on the weekend
[Bridge 1]
You might think this guy only exists in your mind
Guess what: You're Right![Chorus]
If you want love, lower your expectations a few
Because Prince Charming would never settle for you
If you want love, just pick a guy and love him
And if he's got a thing for feet say "fuck it" sweep me off them[Interlude]
Now the good things is that at least men have very realistic expectations for women. He said, sarcastically setting up a second verse in a comedy song[Verse 2]
You want a girl that's nice, a girl that's not
Obsessed with her looks, but is insanely hot
The kind of girl that you can show to your folks
Loves the movies you like and always laughs at your jokes
A real girl, a hot girl; a really hot girl;
A brand new, really hot, real doll
Wants to impress you, doesn't care if you notice
Only ever uses you to tickle her throat with...[Bridge 2]
You might think this girl only exists in your mind
But she's real but last week she died[Chorus]
If you want love, lower your expectations a lot
You might think your dick is gift but I promise it's not
If you want love, just pick a girl and love her
Then whip out your dick and let the girl you love decline the offer[Verse 3]
I don't want a neat freak, I don't want a slob
Somebody with bedhead and a dead end job
Cause I won't settle for less than perfect
We want perfect children a perfect life
A perfect husband or a perfect wife
But deep down we know, we don't deserve it, but...
We all deserve love even on the days when we aren't are best, cause we all suck but love can make us suck less
We all deserve love, it's the very best part of being alive
And I would know I just turned 25
YOU ARE READING
Make Happy: An Hour full of laughs
HumorCombining his trademark wit and self-deprecating humor with original music, Bo Burnham offers up his unique twist on life in this stand up special.