Story Of My Life

Nobody Knows.

She was so honest that one day, we were talking and she said:

"Hey.. can I ask you something?"

I said, yes of course.

She said, "What would you do if there was this girl in school in your year that felt so bad about herself?"

I said I would make her feel loved.

The she carried on and said.. "What if that person was me?"

I didn't accept that she had become a different person now. I didn't want to judge her because of the way she'd look in class now.. her happy brown eyes and a smile that was always on her face, had slowly disappeared.

It was often replaced with a fake smile, and those three white lies, "I am fine."

But she wasn't fine. She was far from fine.

She needed help.. and she was scared... she needed me so badly, in a way I didn't understand.

I kept her grounded. She often wrote long notes to me, telling me how she felt. I was touched.

I still didn't accept that she had changed.

I carried on with our usual conversations.. and everything was fine.. but that was another white lie.

I let my homework pile up and I was letting my social life interfere. I couldn't keep up with everything and I got angry often. I began to not answer her messages... I began to forget about our friendship.

I knew her friends knew what she was going through. When her best friend approached me, I was under a lot of stress because of exams and this girl I liked..

So I snapped.

Words just poured out of my mouth before I could stop them..

"She's an annoying b*tch and I don't care about her."

It wasn't until I had come home and received a message from her saying, "What did you do to her:p" and my sister came charging into my room, taunting me about the girl I like.. my mother was also nagging me about stuff too..

She called me two faced.

and I told her to just f*ck off.

Reality hit me then.. and It hit me hard.

I didn't know abut her getting help. I didn't know about her getting better. I didn't know anything.

I just did something I swore I would never do.

Judge.

I pushed her away because I thought I couldn't deal with her issues even though she hadn't told me anything.

I didn't know that taking her out of my life would have such a terrible impact on both of us..

I need her, like she needed me.