Story Of My Life

The End.

In science, we couldn't see eye to eye anymore. I noticed her tugging on her sleeves more often now.

Once I saw her coming out the girls bathrooms with red eyes.. she placed something sharp back in her bag.

Her brown eyes met mines and we held each others gazes for what felt like hours, but was only seconds.

I had to turn away. I could see her pain. The pain because of me.

Everyday, I noticed her tanned face would get paler and paler. It was like she was loosing blood but I wouldn't accept it.

Her best friend gave me death glares from a far but wouldn't approach me. I began to loose interest in my friends gossip at lunch and at break. Instead I would just sit and think..

I just couldn't bring myself to talk to her.

You'd think over time, things would get better... but it didn't.

I carried on watching her, near and a far. I carried on watching her die.

But I didn't accept that she was still hurting.

I thought I was her main trigger, so me gone in her life, she'd be better... but I was wrong.

"Excuse me?" An older woman with short blonde hair, peered her head around the door.

I looked around me. I was the only one she could be talking to.

I learned her name was Jill, and she was the school counsellor. She told me she had been counselling her... she told me that she had been talking a lot about me. Her voice trailed off and she looked to the floor.

Soon again her blue eyes met mines, but this time full of sadness.

"She hasn't seen me in a lot of weeks now. I saw her just recently in the corridors.. she looked...broken.." Her word were with such emotion like she meant something to Jill.

I still didn't understand why I was here.

"She is smart but, she is also weak. So she will do something she is going to end up regret doing. You can already see what she's doing to herself... it's killing her."

But I didn't want to accept this.

"You.. need to save her. Only you  can." She told me, taking my hands in hers.

I had never seen such sadness and worry in someone's eyes before until today.

It was the end of the school day now.. when the events took place all so quickly.

I noticed her holding onto her tattered purple notebook, doodled with images and words. I decided now was the time for me to approach her.

"Please.. please go away.." She refused to look at me. "I don't want you here."

"Why not? We go to the same-"

"-I don't like the pain I've caused you. I'm really sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry for what?! I'm the one who should be sorry! I-"

"-I'm sorry for coming into your life. I'm sorry for ruining it.. and I'm sorry I exist. But it's all going to end soon, okay?"

"What?! No! You don't need to be sorry! Listen-"

"-Just, just let me go.. You don't deserve a loser like me, a freak like me trailing after you, bringing your mood and life down!" She cried.

"No! Listen-"

"I'm fine." She handed me the two books, and then walked to the edge of the road.

She turned around to face me, and smiled.. a broken smile. Her brown eyes sparkled, not with happiness.. but because of her tears.

She was slowly backing into the road.. but I was two busy watching her smile...

Until that last split second... I cried out..

There was a loud crash. More screams. Tears. Bloods. Swears. Yells.

For there lay her motionless body, covered with blood, but that smile still on her face.

On the cold road she lay, the rain began to pour, masking my tears as I held onto her hands, begging her to open her eyes.

I wanted to see those brown eyes..

The ambulance came, the police came.. The whole school knew.. parents knew.. but no body knew the full story.

I remembered being allowed to see her one last time before they placed that while blanket over her head, letting her sleep in peace.

I remember the tears that I allowed to fall.

I remember tracing her scars on her arms, the ones I never knew were so deep.

The doctor said there wasn't enough food in her.

I remember our conversations, when she told me she hated her weight, and how she believed she was ugly.

I had told her she wasn't, because no-one was ugly.

I had given her advice from my heart about nutrition, protein bars etc.. but she decided to starve herself.

No-one was ugly, but she was beautiful. She was so beautiful because she didn't know it.

Even on her death bed.. she had never looked more beautiful.

I would never accept her last words.. even if they were her last words.

I would never accept that she had died... because her sprit is always with me.

I miss her eyes, and smile.

I miss her laugh, the endless talks.

I miss her honesty and seriousness.

Her death was my fault.

I will never accept any other theory as to why she died.

I had killed her. I pushed her away.

Because she told me, she was fine and I accepted it..

They were her last words.

The three words that will haunt me until I die.