Aisha

Chapter 13

 “good morning” I said. “Happy birthday ” he said then pulled me in and gave me a long kiss. “Thanks” I said as I pulled away. “let’s start your birthday adventure”  he said we drove to this dinner place it was so weird. No one was in there and there was all theses tea pots. “what are we doing here” I asked? “ I am going to  give you tea to drink and see if you can guess the flavors” he said. I smiled. “drinking tea” I asked? “it’s your favorite thing to drink” he said.  I sit down and he hands me a little paper cup, there are about 50 tea pots in front of me lined up on this long island table.

“here” he said. I sipped this tea it tasted sweet. “it taste like cotton candy” I said. he spun the tea pot around it was cotton candy. “good job” he said.  he handed me like 20 more cups after that. “here last one” he said.  I drank this one it’s so nasty. “ew what is this it has a bad after taste” I said. “prune” he said we both laughed. “ew” I said. “here let me taste it” he said then pulled me in close and kissed me. that was his way of tasting it. “ which one did you like that you thought you wouldn’t” he asked? “the mango pumpkin splash”  I said. “really okay” he said. “come sit here, I’m going to blind fold you” he said. “why are you doing this” I asked?  I feel so weird, and nervous. “shh I’m going to surprise you” he said. then  I could here is foot prints drift off and then I heard them return.

“here sip this” he said. as he put a straw in my mouth. “that’s really good what is that” I asked? As  I took off the blind fold. “Ice coffee” I said. “it’s mango pumpkin slash ice coffee, I figured that you didn’t like coffee period because you didn’t like the flavors offered so I made you it while using tea bags” he said. “ I love it” I said. then I leaned over the table and gave him a kiss. We did have breakfast at the diner then he took me to get a manicure and  a pedicure, we went to the beach to this live concert it was really fun, we just finished up in the recording studio. Now we are at a carnival riding on a Farris wheel. I have to talk to him about this Hassan thing because I have to head home earlier then I thought but it will kind of ruin this lovely birthday adventure I’ve been having. “are you hungry” Jamal asked? “no” I said as we got off the Farris wheel.

“ I have something for you” he said then handed me a black box. “you did all of this” I said then opened it it’s a pink diamond ring with white diamonds around the ring.  “it’s a promise ring to you” he said. “you can think about if you want to wear it but I just wanted to put it out there that I promise myself to you” he said. “it’s perfect” I said. he took me home and when I was getting ready to head to my bedroom I hear footsteps coming from above. In the sky room. “hello” I said.  I know it’s Hassan because he’s the only person that know about that room. “ah you see” I said as he was coming down the stairs. “you have to stop doing creepy things like this” I said. he chuckled. “what are you doing here” I asked? “I didn’t want to just mail your gift, so I brought it to you in person” he said. “thank you” I said as he hands me this white box with a blue ribbon on it. I was going to open. “wait no don’t open it now, not even after I leave, when the time is right you’ll know when too” he said chuckling I smiled. “okay” I said. as I put it  on my night stand. “I know I sound weird” he said. I just giggle. “well I’m going to go see you in two days” he said. “yes” I said. “Happy Birthday Aisha” he said. “Thank you” I said. “I'll show myself out” he said. “alright” I said then he gave me an awkward hug. I went to bed, I had a great birthday.

 “Aisha come on girly get up” Leila said. “I’m sleepy” I said. “come on get dressed” she said. “what time is it” I asked? As I just laid in my bed acting like I’m dead hoping she would just leave my room “it’s 2 in the afternoon come on” she said. “fine” I said as I got up out my bed and walked to my bathroom. “I listen to that song Bethany made, girl if I was you she would being seeing all kind of Russian kick ass attitude” Leila said, I laughed.  “you’re not even Russian Leila your Syrian and Greek come on now” I said. “but I lived there most of my life so I pick up a few things and Russians would have handed it to her” she said. as I was in the mists of brushing my teeth, “oh before I forget this came in the mail for you” she said handing me a letter.

 “who’s it from” I asked? “I don’t know” she said. “just finish up getting dressed I’m going to make something to eat” she said as she left my room. I get dressed in a white romper and I grab a cheetah print cardigan. I’m just going to put my hair up in a sock bun. I put my cheetah print converse on. Then we leave and got with my crew. We went out to eat and then we went to the board walk, Beckett and Leila are off somewhere and it’s time for me to talk to Jamal about this trip. “ hey guys will be right back” I said. “okay” they all said. We were walking around. I could tell he could tell something’s on my mind. “what’s wrong” he asked? As he held my hand as we walked alongside the beach.

“you know how I’m going to Syria” I said. “yeah” he said. “well  I have to have someone go with me and the only reason this person is going with me is because they would go regardless so I just said okay and I know you’ll be upset” I said. “Aisha” he said, “Hassan is coming with me” I said then looked down, I was waiting for him to get mad go off but he stayed silent I looked up at him. “say something” I said. “I feel like he has you, he has 100% access to you and I get it you say that he’s the father of your child but you need rules with him like why didn’t you ask me if I wanted to go” he snapped back. “I do have rules he has full access to me because we have a child together now we do have rules set he can’t just pop up any where he pleases, I truly hardly see him I know you were mad about the last time when he stayed at my house. But trust Jamal he doesn’t have 100% access, and I was going to say you can come, I mean you can but even if I told him no he would come he feels this right to protect me which kind of makes sense because he knows everyone their” I said. this is going to go nowhere.

 “ he has 100% access he knows you better then you know yourself and I try to at least have half of you but I’m always going to be competing with Hassan” Jamal said. “you’re not competing with anyone he’s engaged Jamal he’s moved on, I’m with you,  he doesn’t know me, I don’t even know me come on don’t be so upset and angry with me I’m telling you, you can come too” I said. “no  I don’t want to go” he said. “Jamal” I said he is angry I could see it in his eyes. “I need you to know that he will always be in my life, and have access to me because of our daughter Olivia that’s the only reason and I need you to understand that because for us to stay a thing to move on you need to know that he will always be in my life, but also to know that I choose you” I said. there was a silent pause. “are you in love with him” Jamal asked?

That question felt like a smack to my face I was shocked. “do I what” I asked?  Blinking my eyes. “do you or are you still in love him with” he asked? No I stayed quiet, I was not trying to answer his ridiculous questions. “I’m with you Jamal that should say it all” I said. “you’re not answering my question” he said. “I think I just did” I said. “if you had to pick between him or me who would you pick” he asked?  I just looked down at the ground. he chuckled.

 “you were right when you told me when I got to know you I wouldn’t like you” he said. I looked up at him and he looked heartbroken and when my eyes met with his I felt a hot tear roll down my cheeks. “you don’t mean that” I said. “no, no I do” he said. “ I would choose you” I said as I took of the promise ring he gave me and threw it up in the air and started walking away, I actually didn’t drive home I walked home, Bubba followed me he think I didn’t know but I did. They say you’re life is up to you, it’s all your choice what happens. But you don’t chose who affects you the most, who makes you laugh the most, who makes you cry the most, who you fall in love with or who breaks your heart. your life is not completely up to you, because these people are the ones that shape your life and send it in the direction it goes. And if you think about as I think about it, it sucks not to be in control. I get home and Leila is walking back and forth.  She spots me and I drop my shoes on the floor. I look a mess and she just comes and hugs me.

 “awh my love,” she said as I started bawling my eyes out. “shhh it’s okay Grace it’s okay” she said. when she calls me by my middle name I know I’m really a mess. I cried for hours that night and Leila just laid there next to me the whole time, I don’t even think she slept that night. I’m just lying in my bed the next morning and all these thoughts are running through my head. The tough thing about following your heart is what people forget to mention, that sometimes your heart takes you places you shouldn’t be, places that are scary as they are exciting and as dangerous as they are alluring and sometimes your heart takes you places that can never lead to a happy ending . And that’s not even the difficult part. The difficult part is when you follow your heart, you leave normal and you go into the unknown and once you do you can never go back. I can never go back.