Serious Snafu

Chapter 6

Pride had spent the morning preparing some luncheon delights for his staff. At 11:45, he set the table and laid out shrimp salad, croissants, homemade potato chips, and chilled gazpacho - the last being a special treat for Percy, a vegan. However, that was a half-hour ago. Now, the senior agent, Meredith Brody, and Patton Plame sat watching the food slowly wilt.  

Brody looked at her watch for the tenth time in ten minutes.

"It's 12:15 Pride, if we don't start soon, the food might spoil," she said.

"Yeah," Triple P agreed. "The cold food will get hot and the hot food with get cold."

"OK," Pride said, "I'll try calling again."

Just as he began to dial, his phone rang. It was LaSalle.

"Well, speak of the devil," Pride smiled. "And, he's on FaceTime." He propped the phone up against the salt and pepper shakers so they all could see.

LaSalle appeared on the tiny screen wearing shorts and a t-shirt. Pride spoke first. "Where are you boy? Lunch is awaiting!"

Chris gave them a panoramic view of his drenched bathroom, carpeted in wet towels. "Sorry y'all. I had a small leak in the shower, then the big pipe busted. I'm waiting for the plumber."

"Looks like quite a mess you have there," Pride sympathized. "You want me to come over and help?"

"Oh, no, King," LaSalle replied, a bit anxiously. "The landlord wants his guy to do it - he's got him on retainer or something."

"No problem," Pride said. "Take your time, get here when you can."

"Thanks King, it's a disaster area."

Pride added, "Hey, have you heard from Percy?"

"She's right here King," he said.

As if on cue, an equally soaked Sonja entered with a stack of towels.

"Flood boy called me at home before I left and, ah, asked me to stop by with some dry towels," she said. "Then, I get here and suddenly it's all Titanic."

Pride chuckled. "Well, take care of the situation. And for God's sake, dry off!"

"You've got it Pride!" Sonja said cheerfully.

"Thanks King!" LaSalle smiled.

The screen went blank.

Brody scrunched up her face. "Did that seem odd to you?"

"You mean LaSalle having indoor plumbing?" Plame offered.

"No," she scowled, "Sonja being all wet like that. Wouldn't the water only be flowing if he was taking a shower, and wouldn't he have turned it off?"

"If the bathroom floor was flooded, she could have slipped and fallen into it." Pride said.

"Still, didn't they seem just a little too happy for dealing with a flood?" Brody continued.

"Especially Percy," Plame said. "She hates to get wet."

"Yeah," Brody agreed, "And, she'd be really pissed at LaSalle about it."

"I was just talking to him last night about how they were getting along better," Pride said. "Maybe, she's just being a good friend."

"Or," Brody hesitated. "They're...you know."

"Putting email in the spam folder?" Plame suggested.

Pride wrinkled his brow. "What?"

Brody rolled her eyes. "Having an affair."

Pride looked agast. "No!" He paused for a moment. "You think?"

After a few beats, they all began to laugh hysterically. Then they stopped, looked at each other, and began laughing again.

"Oh, please stop," Plame said, tears running down his face. "That girl would tell him what to do and how to do it."

"She could whoop his ass," Pride stated definitively.

"He might enjoy that," Brody smirked.

"Aw, now I got a picture in my head," Plame whined. "A bad, bad picture."

They all sighed deeply and stopped laughing. A few silent moments went by.

"Nah," Pride said.

"If you say so," Brody said, helping herself to lunch.

"No way," Plame said as if saying it would banish the thought. Brody began to open her mouth. He held up his hand. "And let us never speak of it again."

Brody began to giggle and shook her head. "Yeah, you're right. What was I thinking?"

Pride wrinkled his brow, then shook his own head, before looking up again. "Hey could please you pass the salad?"

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As soon as they hung up, Chris put his phone away.

"Mission accomplished," he grinned.

Sonja dropped the towels in the shower. She threw her arms around LaSalle's neck and gave him a huge kiss.

"That was fun!" she chirped. "Do you really think we fooled them?"

"More or less," he said. "But, I am sure that you enjoyed that. I think you like being bad."

"Oh you know I do," she said.

They kissed again.

"Now, if you don't mind," she purred, "I believe you owe me some make-up sex."

"My favorite kind," he said, smiling broadly as he scooped her up and took her into the bedroom.

LaSalle paid his debt to Percy. Then they partook in "I can't feel my legs" sex; "here comes Mr. Plumber," and a quickie on the washer.

By late afternoon, LaSalle concluded that, like a father with many children, he couldn't decide which one he liked best.