Clarity

Chapter 18

It's been weeks.

Weeks since I'd seen Niall last.

Weeks since I'd seen Louis last.

Weeks since Liam signed up for the X-Factor.

Things haven't been the best.

School still sucks like usual.

I have nothing whatsoever to do with my life.

Niall's gone, so I have no one to talk to.

Liam's been so caught up with X-Factor things, and Allie's been helping him. I feel so awful. I just want to back home. If school wasn't going on, I probably would've.

At this point, I don't think I'll ever talk to Louis again.

I guess it's just too much.

Me and Sierra hang out all the time now, we have a sister bond.

I'm still crazy for Starbucks, like always, but it doesn't feel the same without Louis and Niall.

I've had a lot of time to think lately. I can't help but think where we'd be now if he hadn't cheated, or if I'd forgiven him. Sometimes I wonder if he ever misses me, or if I still feel the same way.

I miss the blue in his eyes. I miss his never brushed, always scruffy brown hair that I'd run my fingers through. I missed the way we kissed, or the way we cuddled. I miss intertwining my fingers with his, and the way he would smile at me. I miss his protectiveness over me, like I was the only girl in the world. I miss everything about him. I miss him. I want him. I need him. But, I don't want my heart broken mulitiple times.

Maybe, a broken heart is the first step to an undeniable love?

Sure, let's go with that...

And....That's what you missed on the latest episode of My Life Is A Huge Freaking Wreak.

It's been forever since I saw her.

But, she was with that-that dog.

I swear on my grave that I'll kill that animal the next time I see him.

I want to talk to her so bad right now, but, what if she doesn't want to talk to me?

I mean, I do have some pretty important news to tell her...

Or, I could just, leave?

Yea, maybe I should, just go.

Leave forever.

I could.

Or I could go make up?

Maybe?

Yea. I should.

But, how is she gonna take the news?

I still have the option of leaving.

She won't have to deal with the heartbreak then.

Will she?

Why is this so hard to do?

It's because I love her,

Isn't it?

I'd have to tell her sooner or later anyway.

If I didn't, she'd find out herself.

Right?

Yes, of course she would.

I need to tell her as soon as possible.

Like now.

I was in my bedroom once again, wondering why Niall would possibly just leave me here alone.