Chrysalis (Book 1.5 in the Wolfen Brethren Series)

Self Harm

15 years old
Novem

The months after Carson left me in the dirt for the woman whose skin was as dark as the night, strolled by.

Another birthday had come and gone and still nothing but everything had changed. The twins were 1 and had been walking for quite some months now. Jana was 4 and Caillum was 8. His birthday had been just last week and a celebration had been thrown for him.

I had seen Carson there but I had pretended I hadn't even though my eyes had been stuck to their glowing skin. He had brought her. She had clung to his arm as he had pranced her around the room. Proud of his female.

He was an important male now. He had proven his worth not only physically but mentally as well. He was a smart, strong male and the woman on his arm had to be a match. The way she carried herself told me that she was. There was an air of grace and strength that surged off of her.

I had been temped to melt into the background, fade into the brick walls that I had become so familiar with. I didn't. I gritted my teeth and pretended the sight of his recurring female didn't hurt me, even though it was abundantly clear that it did.

I don't know why he purposely hurt me like this but since I was his dirty secret no one called him out on his filth. Even if they knew, he was well within his rights and me? Well I was just his dutiful mate, the one he would come back to when I was grown.

I resented the bond as much as I craved the feeling it gave me. Even in its incompleteness it made me feel more complete than I had in a while.

But loneliness still won out. There was a black cloak around my shoulders these days. One that I intentionally wore and embraced, me and my friend were at one now. She helped me rise every morning and in return she wrapped her arms around my heart so all I could really feel was her.

In this isolation of my own choice I felt at home.

Hope rarely ever came to me these days that emotion had been buried deep into the crevices of my psyche, never to be seen or heard from.

The only time the emotion fought within me was when I would catch a glimpse of Carson staring at me. His light grey eyes staring into my soul always caused my hope to rise from its slumber. But then he would ruin it, he always ruined it. With her.

She followed him around like a lost puppy but she wasn't lost because her presence was actually wanted, needed. Unlike mine. He liked the dark of her skin, her almond shaped eyes, her full, black, coiled hair.

We were the opposite and I hated that nature did not make me more like her. So I went against natures will, the first time I had ever ignored the laws of nature.

"Vanya, come out from the sun" shouted Neema. I met her panic struck face with defiance as she took in the sight of my burning pink skin.

The weather was becoming unbearably hot. In the height of Novem, Summier was here. Sweltering burning heat that served my agenda. I had been sunbathing for the past few days and I would not be deterred. My body was bared to the glorious sun in nothing but my underwear.

The only thing I loved about myself was my body, it had grown and though I was tall for my age I was still curvaceous. My hips were rounding and my breasts were swelling, growing in size. My bum was pert and full but my waist was still small-ish. Though my stomach was not completely flat I didn't mind because with its growth came my womanly figure.

I even caught men looking.

"Look what you've done" she cried physical tears as she screamed in the pain that I had stopped feeling. Her hands shook as she reached out to touch me before snatching her fingers back before her tips could meet my skin.