Secret Crush

4

Kristie

She's so perfect. 

That's exactly what I've been thinking for the past hours. I never noticed it before, but I really do like all of her. Yes, she might be clumsy and awkward sometimes, but I find it more cute than ridiculous. I also love the way she giggles when she feels uncomfortable, or the laugh she has when she finds me funny. But the cutest thing about her is when she's worried for me, like during that party yesterday. 

It's now not far from midnight, and we're chilling in our tent. We are pretty closely packed, and my arm is touching Steph's. I'm trying my best not to blush, because Sam is sitting right in front or me.  

"So, how is it going with Car and Hope ?" Sam asks innocently. 

When the McCaffrey died, we were the two people to be here for Steph. Even Carli, who didn't like me at the time, seemed to have soften those past months. We are taking care of each other, because that's what we always did. I am glad I have those two by my side. But the only disturbing thing is that I had to fall in love for my best friend, who also appears to be my sister's best friend. 

Steph looks at us with a shy smile. 

"Very good, actually. Hope's like another sister to me. She and Carli are a good pair to brighten my mornings ; they're always arguing with each other, but it always turns into a competition of who is the most sassy between them" she explains, smiling widely. 

"That's great" Sam says. 

"I'm lucky to have them" Steph nods. 

I then catch eyes with Steph, and immediately look down. Oh God those eyes. I swear she's got a spell on me. Keep it together, Mewis. My thoughts are stopped by Sam, who just frowns while looking at me. 

"What's wrong ?" she asks. 

I now notice that Steph is looking at me as well. I cough. 

"Nothing !" I assure them. 

"Then why do you look like you're attending a funeral ?" Sam sarcastically lets out. 

That cause Steph to giggle a bit, and my heart flickers. Well, let's say that a certain brunette is quite disturbing because she's too fucking beautiful and her eyes are like stab me all the way through, making my heart panic in the process. And I can't seem to keep a straight face - in every sense of the word - which is very disturbing, I think, trying to come up with a good lie so that they don't question me anymore. 

So the only thing that comes out of my mouth is :

"I'm still a little bit jet lagged".

Sam and Steph both looks at me, before nodding. Of course they don't really know what's happening. I really am tired, but I'm fine. Really. Seeing Steph makes me wanna stay awake all the time. After all, who needs to sleep when reality is better than dreams ? That's exactly how I feel every time Steph is near me. 

"Do you want us to go to bed then ?" Steph asks, worried. 

Oh Lord why did you have to create such a lovely creature ?  My eyes twitches quickly, as I try to cool down a little. 

"Nah, it's okay" I assure her. "Besides, it's your birthday, so you get to decide what we do or don't do".  

"Speaking of which, I better go and look for the other surprise we settled for you" Sam adds. "I'm back in ten !"

With that said she just goes out of the tent, and that leaves me with Steph. I then grab the game I got for the occasion. It's like a question/answer game, and the questions are already written and we have to answer honestly. When she sees that game - we played with it when we were kids - her face lighten. 

After a few questions, she takes the last piece of paper in her hand, and her smile fades. 

"What is your dream kiss like" she reads. "I don't even know that one ! I've never kissed anyone !" 

"Picture it" I order her. 

She hesitates for several minutes, before saying :

"Can you help me ? I mean, come closer. I don't know what I'd do with my hands"

I bet my face becomes red. I nod, and she sits down across of me, on her knees, while I am trying to keep my composure. Why the fuck did you have to take this game with you in the first place ? Argh I hate you ! I thought. 

"So" Steph says. "I'd probably want the person to hold me close, like wrap the hands around the waist."

"Do you want me to... do it ?" I awkwardly ask, not sure what to think. 

She nods her head yes, and I have to control my heartbeat because it's just to fast for me to handle. I do as she says, and our eyes immediately connect. Oh. My. God. Keep it together KMew, I order myself. Her eyes are now staring into mine, and I feel an electric connexion between us. Or maybe it's just me. 

She then tries not to stare at my lips, but fails for a couple of seconds. 

"Then, maybe the person would slowly lean in..." she keeps on saying in a very low voice. 

Once again, I just do as I am told. Our noses touch, and it is like the most awkward but also heartwarming thing that has happened to me. Steph plays with my hair for a little while. It's funny how her dream kiss is exactly like the one I pictures for myself ever since I had feelings for her. Well, except that I am picturing my first kiss with her, but she, on the other hand, is probably thinking about someone else. 

Her hand now slips on my neck. Our bodies are colliding, and I feel her body on my, and her warm breath brushing my face. I hold my breath. 

"And that would be... it" Steph says softly. 

And then, the weirdest thing happens. It's not like I've planned it or something, it's just that my lips were demanding hers, and this is just not an option for me to resist that weird feeling that is growing inside of me. So I just close the now very small gap that is between us, crashing my lips on hers. The world then seems to stop existing. It just me holding her close. Just Steph slowly kissing me back. 

And Sam opening the tent's door. 

"Woah" she lets out. 

That causes  both of us to jump on our feet. My sister is looking at us in a pretty funny and offended look. I don't think my face had turned as red as it is right now before. Steph doesn't dare to look at me either, so we're just standing in front of my sister, looking down. Sam is not an homophobic person, not at all. But she hates it when I keep a secret from her. She probably thinks we're a thing, which we - unfortunately - aren't. 

She just sighs. 

"I thought it was a slumber party, not a lovers party." she says, and we can both feel the disappointment in her voice. 

My heart breaks a little. 

"We're not..." Steph tries to say, but Sam cuts her short. 

"I really think I should go..." she says. 

That's when I step in between her and the door. I am ashamed that I didn't tell her about my feelings towards Steph before. But does that kiss mean anything to her ? I mean for me it does mean the world, but what if she just doesn't return my feelings ? Or that it is only an experiment for her ? 

I look at Sam with teary eyes. 

"I am the one going" I say. "You guys have fun, okay ?" 

I don't even take the time to listen to them. Before any of them could chase me down, I just go somewhere where I can't be found and call Syd for help. She picks me up around five minutes later. 

I am a mess.