Secret Crush

9

Stephanie 

Today is the day I've dreamed about my whole life. The one moment that I hoped to see in my young college soccer career. But now that it is finally here, and that the light of the growing morning sun is brightening my room, I'm not so happy anymore. I just didn't want that day to happen. 

I don't want to see her. She practically denied me and what we had in front of everyone. She only slept with me because that day was the day my parents died. She only pretended to care about me because I was making her feel guilty. And now, all that I have left is a broken heart and bitter tears running down my cheeks. How could I be so stupid ? I believed in every promise she made, and in every kiss she gave me. Now I just wanted to punch a wall with my bare skin, and crush my head onto the wheels of a bus. 

I hear a knock on my door, and I don't even need to murmur any sort of answer, because Carli is already inside my room. She looks at me, surprised - I actually never cry, and this is the second time she sees me, the first one was when our parents died - before sitting down next to me on the bed. She then wraps an arm around my shoulders, and I let my head rest on hers. She kisses the edge of my forehead, before sighing. 

I just wait for her to speak. 

"You know, I'd never thought I'd say that to you, but I honestly understand what you're going through" she says. 

I frown. "How that ? Did you have you heart broken by your best friend ?" I ask, way colder than I wanted to. She probably thinks I'm a bitch now. Well done, Steph. You even turn on the one person that actually loves you. "Sorry, that was harsh." 

"You sound upset" Carli lets out, before nodding. "It's okay." I then feel a tiny hesitation in her silence. "And yes to the other question. I did." 

Now I'm in total shock. Is she dating someone ? Some random guy she didn't tell me about ? I frown, and she immediately seems to tense up. She has something to tell me. I just take her hand, and turn to face her. "What is it, Carlo ?" I carefully ask, seeing her eyes lightened by fear. 

"I-I...uhm" she tries to say, but abruptly stops. "Well, you see, uhm-well... Hope and I are... like... dating. And she just left earlier this morning, leaving a note behind, saying that she doesn't want to see me again." 

That is the breaking news. Of course I noticed their attraction, quick glares at each other, and sometimes touchy attitude while together. But I never knew they were actually dating. My eyes go wide, as Carli is trying to hide her blush and pain. She really cares about Hope, and Hope cares about my sister so much. Why did she leave ? 

I look at Carli, squeezing her hand. She is holding back her tears. 

"Did you... Do something special ?" I ask, trying to hide my surprise/excitement I have for the news she just told me.    

"Yeah" Carli says slowly, looking down. "I kinda... proposed to her." 

"WHAT ?" I yell. "And you didn't even tell me you guys were dating ! What were you thinking ? You'd just have come to me the day of the wedding and say hi Steph, we're engaged. Here's your dress. Be here in five ?" 

I know I messed up. The look on her face is now sad and desperate. Sometimes I just want to punch myself in the face. (Often)

"That's not important anymore" Carli says. "She left me. And she's not coming back." 

"Maybe she will" I assure her. "She'd be a fool for leaving a girl like you." 

Carli shakes her head. "Anyway. I just wanted you to know that I am coming to support you tonight, so you better kick some ass for the Lloyd family, okay ?" 

"I'll make you proud, Carlo" I assure, before hugging her tight. But my thoughts are still filled with Kristie. 

°

I ignored her ever since I got on the field. I figured out it was the best strategy to adopt, since she was speaking to her friends, obviously hiding behind them. Sam is by my side, and she also looks pissed. 

"I'm sorry for Kristie's behavior" she says, looking at me in the eyes. "I'm not talking to her anymore." 

"What ? Why ? Don't break you guys incredible connection because of me" I immediately order her, but since Sam is a stubborn little bitch, she always finds a way to argue with me and pretend like she's right.

"I warned her that if she hurt you, I'll get pissed." the blonde says, shrugging. 

I shake my head a little bit, but don't have the time to answer. Our coach has just delivered his final speech, and we are going to our positions. I wink at Sam, before joining the midfield. I am the first person to make a pass. Syd is just in front of me, and I feel my cheeks burning : Kristie probably told her about my high hopes that just turned into ashed. I throw a death glare at the Canadian, ignoring Kristie's eyes on my back. 

The game is hella intense. 

Several of our teammates were tackled, and three yellow cards were given to the other team. I am playing my best game yet, but I could easily improve. I see Carli cheering for me in the stands, and my heart starts to race : by her side, holding her hand, is a very smiling Hope Solo. I smile back at them, happy to see my sister so in love and happy in the dark-haired arms. I hope she just said yes. 

As there only is thirty seconds left before extra-time - yes, a 0-0 tie after 90 minutes in a final is awful, especially for the huge crowd that came here today. Most of them are students from our college, and a lot were wearing Kristie's jersey - Sam passes me a beautiful ball that lands right in my feet. I am unmarked, and I see that I have the time I need. I make my run to the eighteen and take a chance. The ball goes right on the goal, just over the goalkeeper's reach. I hear the crowd cheer loudly, and I am trapped into my teammates hugs. 

Once the game ends on that final whistle, I just looks at the sky and make a heart with my hands. I wish my parents were here. I know they are here with me, but that's about it. So I look at the blue sky above me, while my teammates are hugging each other. Sam is the first one to come at me, quickly followed by Lindsey and Emily, who wrap me into a hug. After like one minute, everyone gave me a hug. Syd's turn comes, and she just smiles at me a gives me a high-five. 

I then catch eyes with Kristie. 

My heart misses a few heartbeats when I feel her hand slip on the back of my neck, pulling me closer to her. She then kisses me softly, tightening her embrace on me. After a few second of surprise, I kiss her back, and wrap my arms around her neck. I don't hear the crowd erupting in cheers and exclamations, neither do I see my teammates smiling around us. I only feel Kristie. I only enjoy her kiss. And that weird impression that we finally are free. Free to love each other, and free to show it to everyone. 

She smiled in the kiss, and our lips disconnect for a bit. 

"I love you" she whispers. "Sorry for acting like a douche, Stephanie. Hopefully you don't mind the whole campus knowing about us, right ?" 

That makes me laugh. I trap her lips between my teeth, and then release them. I hear her gigging. 

"I love you" I just lets out.