Secret Crush

5

Stephanie

What got into me to have asked her to come closer ? Now she probably hates me because we kissed. Best friends don't freaking kiss. The look on her face after that, when Sam walked on us... that doesn't lie.

When she left, both Sam and I didn't know what to say. We ended up sleeping earlier than we had planned, and the next morning, when she drove me home, the whole way back was silent. So now I'm currently in my room, getting ready for today's big day. The soccer organization is setting up a kind of market on the soccer field to raise money for the association that finance us. I have to sell some things, alongside some of my teammates. Kristie hopefully won't be here, and neither will Sam.

As I am trying to calm down and stop crying for nothing, Hope enters the room. When she sees my tears, she immediately drops the box she is holding on the floor and walks towards me. She then sits on my bed, putting her hand on my leg.

"Hey, kiddo, what's wrong ?" she softly asks, trying her best to comfort me.

I don't really know if I can tell her my secret. After all, she's not Carli. Which is a good thing, because I couldn't tell my sister that I'm in love with my best friend. I just look up at Hope, and make my decision.

"Kristie and I kissed last night" I finally let out, in what almost sounds like a whisper.

Hope seems pretty surprised for a second, but then controls herself. She takes my hand in hers, and smiles.

"How was it then ?"

"It felt right... in the moment." I painfully say. "But then Sam walked in and I just felt terrible. And Kristie too, I think. I mean she just ran away."

Hope is frowning.

"Maybe she just got scared of your reaction ?" she suggests. "I mean I've always told Carlo that there is something electric in the way she's looking at you. But I didn't expect you to return the attraction."

"D-do you think she likes me ?" I ask shyly.

"Definitely" she says. "Now, you'll think about that later. I'll drive you to your damn market, because you're already late."

I smile at her, before she hugs me.

***

I am trying my best to smile at every person that is buying things, but I honestly don't feel that well at all. Kristie is filling my thought at the moment, which is very disturbing. Emily Sonnett, who is selling things right next to me, has got to snap me out of my transe several times, because I am too occupied thinking of her than actually paying attention to the people that want to buy my things.

As I am looking down, I see a hand advancing on the table where I expose my thing. It then makes my heart flicker : that golden bracelet that the girl is wearing is a gift I gave Kristie for her latest birthday. I dare to look down, only to catch eyes with her. Her taste then comes back in my mouth, and my throat becomes sore.

She seems pretty uncomfortable.

"Hoodrat" she hesitantly says. "I want to apologize about... well, you know what. I shouldn't have kissed you a-and I really regret it."

Her words don't seem to please me. I suddenly become kinda angry, as I look at her with defying eyes. She looks quite surprised.

"Whatever" I just let out, putting my attention back on my things.

She sure looks disappointed.

"Steph, I came today especially for you..." she says.

"That's a shame" I abruptly say.

When I look up at her, I see that she's hurt. Lip curl, forced eyes contact. That's what I am earning from her now.

"What ?" she says, angry this time. "What did you expect me to say, Steph ? Oh baby, let's hook up again right behind that car ! God, I'm straight, and I don't wanna be involved with you this way..."

"It was my first kiss !" I then yell. "If you didn't mean it, then you should've kept it to yourself !" I add, lowering my voice.

She seems outraged.

"You were the one wanting me to get closer !" she hissed, trying to contain herself.

"Yes, I was ! But you didn't seem to care that much"

That's our first actual fight. She just looks at me with sad/angry eyes, and then just tries to walk away from me. I just get out of my little spot and grab her arm. I then drag her behind some sort of van where nobody could hear or see us.

She sets her jaw, annoyed.

"What is wrong with you ?" she asks. "I'm not gay, Steph !"

"Neither am I " I yell.

I don't even know why I am getting so angry. I shouldn't care that much. I would be lying if I say I didn't like this kiss. Or that I didn't feel anything when her lips touched mine, or when she touched me like that. I put my hand on my face, while Kristie rests against the van, sighing several times.

As she is opening her mouth to say something, I just can't control myself anymore. I almost jump at her throat, wrapping both my arms around her neck, and crashing my lips on hers. This time, I go all in. I deepen the kiss as I hear her moan, trying to resist me. But she can't resist very long, and kisses me back around ten seconds later. Our lips are moving in sync, and I can feel her hands running down my back. That causes me to shiver, as I kiss her even harder. I feel right at home.

But I knew I have to break the kiss. So I take several steps backwards, nervously watching her reaction. She seems so out of line and almost lost.

"S-Steph, I-I can't..." she whispers.

She then throws an ultimate look at me, before running away from me. Again. What the fuck did I do ? Did I just fucking kill our friendship ? I ask myself, blaming me for this mess that I created in the first place.

Well, fuck, I think, grabbing my phone. I then look for Sam's number, and try to call her. I need to talk to my best friend.