Don't Forget Me

  Chapter 1     

          Three years.
Walking into my one bedroom apartment, I immediately threw my bags onto the couch and let out an exhausting sigh.
This will be worth it.
I tell myself this each time I feel like my brain might explode from all the mathematics and chemistry that I must know for being a nurse. Right now I'm in college, at UCLA, I moved out here to get away honestly...from life... family. Anyways, I'm now 22 years old, my name is Cecelia Mayhem.
I live alone and I like it that way.
I grabbed a coke from the fridge, plop myself on the couch and check my phone. The screen showed that I had 1 new voicemail. I opened it and listened.

    " You have one unread message, first unread message......" I listened and heard a voice I never thought I'd hear again. "Hi sweetheart, its mom. I was wondering if you can come down and help me with a party here at home. Its for your father, he's sick again and we don't know how long he has. Please baby, I would love to see you. I know it's hard but please come. Love you bye." Tears ran down my face and that ache I tried so hard to get rid of easily came back. And it hurts, it hurts so bad.

Am I really ready?
Am I really ready to go back and face my past that I've been trying so hard to avoid.

**********

"Hey, you're distracted again, what's on ur mind?" Holly's voice cut through my thoughts. Holly Jester, she is my best friend, well my only friend, but she's always there. She has light brown hair the hung down her hips and had a thin figure. Her eyes hazel and she's a model. We're complete opposites, my hair was dark, wavy and only came down mid way. My eyes were as green as emeralds. She was bright and I was dull.
I look up and watch as she digs through my fridge searching for something to eat on. "Just family stuff....." She grabs my cold Mac n cheese and a spoon. "You know you live right across the hall right?" Gesturing towards my half eaten Mac n cheese .
"Food taste better when it's someone else's." She winked. "Now back to ur family stuff. You know this is the first time you ever said anything regarding your family since I met you. Like I thought they were dead..." I've known her two years and 3 months. Two of those months she was trying to convince me that we would be best friends.
She was right of course, I don't know if I would have made it those years alone. Although, I thought that was what I wanted and I'm so glad she was there to pull me out of the darkness ...for now at least.
"Well, my dad isn't doing so good and my mom wants me to come home." I looked down and the voicemail from her and tighten my grip a little on my phone.
"You have to go!" Holly frowned and walked over to me, not letting go of my Mac n cheese that is now mostly gone. I was looking forward to that later. Pain.
"You wouldn't understand. And frankly I don't wanna get into it." I looked at her holding back the tears.
She stopped eating. "Look, I know you're hurting from this and you don't wanna face it right now but you can't just ignore the fact that your dad and mom need you right now."Her gaze never left mine, she was serious.
"Okay, love that you care, came off a little bitchy but I get it."
"I'll go with if you want the company."she hugged me.
"I guess. As long as you behave." Knowing that's not in her nature.
"I have no idea what you mean." She giggled and threw her hair back. "So..... have any hot cousins? "
"Shut up."

************

I had packed my last suitcase I would need and let out a sigh.
     "So we ready?"Holly clapped excitedly.
"Yeah, did you just clap?"I sat down on my suit case and smiled. Holly doesn't know anything about my past. And I wanted it to stay that way.
"Yeah, I can't tell if I'm nervous or excited." She grabbed her suitcase and headed out. I followed her with mine to my black bmw. We threw our stuff in the back and got in the car.
"Well I feel sick."I started the engine.
    "You think they'll like me?" She asked sounding nervous.
    "Yeah, they'll love you." I mean whats not to love. She's funny, nice ,beautiful. Everything I use to be. I drove away from my apartment and headed home. I wish it didn't hurt so much to go back.

*********

Once we arrived, my heart stopped, I can feel the knot in my throat, the ache in my chest. But I quickly pushed them away. I turned to Holly and shook her awake.

      "We're here." I tried not to cry.

       She yawned and stretched. "Finally, gosh i think my ass fell asleep."

       I followed her out the car but stopped.

     A memory hit me.

     I saw her, her dark brown hair flew back as she ran in the grass. Her light green eyes filled with life. She looked at me and laughed. "Chase me, mommy."

     And then she disappeared but I still heard her laughter. And it killed me. Why did I come back? I can't do this. I put my hand over my mouth to stop the sob trying to escape.

      "Cecelia!" Holly snapped me out of my trance.

    "I-I can't do this." I shook my head.

     "Whats wrong? Whats going on?" She sounded worried. And thats the last thing I wanted.

     "I'm fine, I-" I begun but was cut off by the person who brought me back here.

      "Cecelia?" My mom cried.

      I looked at her and frowned. "Yes mom, its me."

      She ran up to me and hugged me tightly. "Oh baby, I'm so happy you're here." She let me go and wiped her tears. She then faced Holly and smiled.

       "And who might you be." She asked politely.

        "Holly, Holly Jester. Cecelia's friend." Holly smiled nervously.

      "Well, please come in and grabbed your bags. I'll show you your rooms." My mom waved us to follow. We did, we grabbed our bags and followed her. I held my breath once we entered the house. Everything was the same. Our big kitchen with a tan island in the center. The black soft couches were still there. The flat screen tv and the book shelf of my favorite books and pictures of us. This is extremely hard, the fact that my all my memories and all my nightmares fit into this house.

        We walked down the hallway I didn't dare look up. Because if I did I'd be sucked up by the past. And I couldn't do it.

        "Holly, you can have this guest room. Its right next to Cecelia's." She smiled.

       "Thank you, Mrs. Mayhem." Holly smiled more comfortable then before.

        "Oh no, dear please call me Lola." She gave her a short laugh.

       "Thanks Lola." Holly smiled and entered her room.

      I walked into my room. Its were we- I used to stay. I set down my bags and sat on my bed.

      Another memory hit.

     There she was again. She came closer and put her small hand on my cheek. "Its okay, mommy." She hugged me. "I love you."

       Even though the memory ended I still felt her small arms around me. And I broke alittle.

      I began to sob. "I love you too." I cried. I put my head in my hands and cried some more. I heard the door creek open. I quickly tried to wipe away the tears and stop what had started.

      The person who walked in was someone who I'd never thought I'd see again.  And frankly didnt want to see.

       Tyler Heart.

       The boy who I was deeply inlove with. He was amazing hot, he had black hair that was getting long and deep blue eyes and a rocking body.

       "Go away." I cried.

       "Is that anyway to treat your friend." He smiled, but his eyes held pity. And I hated it.

       He came to me and knelt infront of me. I looked down at him and cried again. He knew, so he understood my pain.

       "Cece don't cry." He wiped away the tears. And pulled me in for a hug. Which only made it worse. "She's really gone. My baby, she is gone. Miriam is gone." I cried harder.

     And its all my fault.