Demons

11.

I think about the past a lot. I've been told thinking about a dark past isn't good. I've been told that I should forget about it the best I could and move on. I've also been told it's alright if I want to remember. I'm not sure what was right. I want to ask Harry about what he thinks, but I don't want to scare him.

It was the second night of being woken by nightmares. I considered knocking on Harry's door, but just in case he finally got sleep tonight, I didn't want to ruin it. So I went back downstairs and got a bagel and water and watched sitcoms. About an hour into it, Harry came downstairs.

"Did you know it's snowing out?" He asked

"No," I looked out the window to see giant flakes of whiteness fall from the sky, the ground was already covered in it "I would love to make a snowman right now." I sighed

"Then why don't we?"

I looked up at him like he was a crazy person, it was 3am and freezing cold outside, but I was the one who suggested a snowman, so maybe I was the crazy person.

"Really?"

"Yes."

So, at 3am, we got bundled up in winter coats and mitten and hats and big snow boots, and went outside and built a snowman. I gave the snowman my hat and Harry wound his scarf around its neck. We found two branches for arms and dug up stones from the driveway to make him a face. I felt like a little kid again, making snowman's with my mom before my dad got home from work.

"I reckon this snowman needs a name." Harry said

"We should name him Sonny."

"Sonny, but won't the sun melt him?"

"That's the point."

"Ironic, I like that. Sonny it is."

"Now, let's get inside before we freeze."

We raced through the snow towards the house.

- - -

The next morning I woke up on the couch again, there was blankets on the floor again, bacon and eggs on the kitchen counter again. Grandma ate breakfast with me.

"I see you made a snowman." She said

"Harry and I."

"When did you have time to do that?"

"3 am."

"Heavens, child." She shook her head and just smiled

"I'm glad to see you two getting along." She said, after I didn't respond

"Me too." I was just glad to have a friend

"Why don't you two go into town today and get a tree, tomorrows Christmas Eve."

"Okay."

So me and Harry took Grandma's small car into town. We listened to Christmas music on the radio and sang along to Jingle Bell Rock together and laughed. I felt like this is what normal people did, how normal people interacted. I wasn't sure if that made me normal. I thought Harry was normal.

We walked, separated by a sea of evergreens. I could hardly see Harry through the trees, his black clothes blended in. I bet he could hardly see me, besides the brightly coloured, red knitted scarf I wore.

"I think this is the tree." I said, nodding with myself

"Are you sure? It's kind of small." Granted, Harry was taller than the tree

"It's only shorter than you, It's taller than me. This way I can put the star on top of the tree without a chair."

"Ok. Let's get this one."

We strapped it onto the car and started the drive back home.

"What type of music do you like to listen to?" Harry asked

"Christmas music."

"What about when it's not Christmas?"

I chewed my lip searching for an answer "I guess I don't really listen to much music."

I guess not listening to music for six months changed you too.

"What did you listen to before?"

"I don't remember."

"What music would you like to listen to?"

"I don't think I'd want to listen to angry music. Just happy music."

"Like pop?"

"No, like.. Acoustics." I said, thinking about strumming a guitar

There used to be a man who sat on a corner every morning in town, I'd wave at him from the car window on my way to school, and give him a dollar at lunch. I wonder if he still sat on his corner and played guitar for the passerby's. 

"Do you play guitar?" I asked

"Yes."

"Would you play for me sometime?"

"Of course."