Soft Silence | ✓ | unedited

Chapter Five ⌔ Nightmare Memory

Chapter Five ⌔ Nightmare Memory

The grey-eyed, pale faced brunette, her hair messed up and her eyes stricken, stared back at me in the mirror as I held onto the edges of the sink basin as tightly as I could. Outside, rain thudded heavily on the rooftop and pattered loudly against my window pane, making me feel terribly restless.

As I stared at my reflection, my eyes took note of the thin sheen of sweat on my forehead and the way my lips quivered involuntarily. My eyes were slightly bloodshot and my cheeks looked sunken in.

I leaned over and pressed my forehead against the mirror as I stared down the drain in the middle of the sink. I took in deep breaths as I lifted my quivering fingers to push my hair back, shutting my eyes and clenching my jaw as I recalled bits of the dream or nightmare that had me jolting awake in the middle of the night, screaming silently.

"Sierra, baby?"

"Yeah, mom?"

Oh, no. Please, no.

"I'm going to the office for some paperwork. I'll be late-"

I gritted my teeth harder together and tightened my hold on the edge of the glossy white sink. The hole in my chest burned like an open flame. My ears were ringing painfully and I felt sweat slide down the side of my face.

"I love you!"

"Love you, too!"

NO! I screamed with no voice, shoving myself away from the mirror and accidentally banging against the wall. I let out a silent cry of pain as my head knocked against the hard tiled wall. I slid down to my butt, my hands digging into my scalp as I buried my face into my knees, breathing painfully hard.

I didn't want to dream of that kind of thing. I didn't want to be reminded of that... horror.

The horror that I caused.

"Sierra, baby, where do you want to go?"

"We haven't tried out that new restaurant down by -"

Stop! Please.

Please.

I clenched my jaw and squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the tears threatening to seep out between my closed lids.

Breathe, Sierra, I chided mentally, struggling to get a grip on myself. Breathe.

In.

I took in a shaky breath and then realized that I couldn't get a proper breather with my head against my knees. I swallowed nervously and then slowly lifted my head, leaning back to look up at the bathroom ceiling. I took in a deep but shaky breath, closing my eyes.

My heart was beating erratically in my chest, my head was pounding and my palms were sweaty.

Out.

I opened my mouth slightly to let out my breath. The coldness of the bathroom barely got my attention as I shivered in place, sweating profusely.

I leaned my head against the cool bathroom wall and repeated the process of deep breathing. Slowly but surely, my heart rate slowed until it was a gentle and dull thudding rhythm.