Suicide hits home for me. I was once suicidal a long time ago. I love a guy that's suicidal. I have friends that are suicidal. I've heard of people that have committed suicide like Leelah Alcorn and Zander Mahaffney. So yeah suicide hits apart of me that'll never be the same.
I even look up to people that once were also suicidal. Onision/Greg Jackson almost blew his head off while he was off fighting for our country. Shane Dawson, is one of my idols, was bullied because he was overweight. He used YouTube as his outlet on things. Greg also did that. Shane did a video call Dear Suicidal Teens, it was a small tribute to Paris Jackson since she attempted suicide. Here's the link if you want to watch it: youtu.be/cAZRXDF-Gfk
When I was suicidal I used to self harm by abusing pills and alcohol, cutting myself, and smoking cigarettes. Now I'm clean. I haven't done any of that in more than a month.
Here's my little story. I was in the 7th grade. My mom got another boyfriend that I hated right away. He always used to say that I should be more like his children. I didn't like that. My family knew I didn't like how I was being treated. My aunt lectured me day after day about it and she always said that if my mom wasn't happy then I wouldn't be happy. She kept saying things like that to me. He tried to treat me like I was his own child even though he was just a guy that my mom was dating. Long story short, he cheated on her and they broke up.
When they broke up I stopped cutting and abusing pills.
I planned overdosing on my mom medication so that I would finally be free of them. I wasn't happy anymore. I needed happiness back. The day I was going to overdose was on June 11, 2011. It was just a couple days after my mom's birthday. As you can see I didn't do it. The reason that I'm still alive is because I'm scared of what's going to have after I die. I'm scared of the afterlife. That's why I have at least one existential crisis per week.
I don't think that anyone that committed suicide should have done it. Leelah could of just continued to crossdress until she had enough money to change her gender. Zander could have waited. They both should have waited, they could of just contined to crossdress until they had enough money for it.
