We'll Find A Way

Chapter Three: I'm Ready Now

(Cali's P.O.V.)

Jake was back a while before everyone showed up. He seemed to be annoyed... I was just- just sad. I wanted nothing other than to join him as he danced with kids I'd been friends with since I was a child. But I knew that I couldn't do that. 'You don't know that, Cali.' I rolled my eyes. I was being absurd. We can't do this-oh, but you can. It was wrong though... 'It's only wrong if you believe it is...' I sighed as Jacob made his way over to me.

"Why don't you both have your own room?" somebody asked.

"It's only temporary for now," I said. There was no more talk of it.

The atmosphere of the party was naturally exciting and it was hard not to get into the party spirit. Eventually, I found myself dancing with my friends and not wanting the night to ever end. I was enjoying myself- and even if I hadn't been, it was a distraction enough. There were numerous times where I caught Jake watching me from a distance with an ache in his eyes- invisible to anyone except me, because I knew it was there. A few times I caught the guys giving him playful shoves on the arm and telling him to just come dance with me. He casually brushed of the comment, but it was harder for him each time he heard it. It was hard for me- to see him with the pain that I was causing and trying so hard to ignore it. I told myself that what I did next was only because I felt obligated, though I knew I was half lying to myself. I walked over to him and took his hand.

"Oh, dear prince, may I have this dance?" He grinned and then his face got hard.

"I don't know... will you leave me halfway through, just when I start to enjoy myself."  I flinched. I could tell he was sort of joking, but the fact that he it wasn't really a joke still stung a bit.

"Fine then Jacob, I'll find someone else to dance with." He started to laugh.

"What?"

"Did you seriously just call me Jacob?"

"Um, yeah. Why?"

"You've never called me Jacob before."

"So? I thought you preferred Jake."

"I do. It was just funny."

"I was trying to be serious," I said. I started to walk away, slightly annoyed with myself. Why had I even bothered? 'Because you love him.'  It was then that I realized that I was ready- because I did love him. I felt his arms wrap around my waist from behind as a slow song came on and I smiled. I leaned my head back on his shoulder. "I love you," I whispered. He chuckled softly- and it was a bit shaky, as if he didn't believe me. We swayed slowly to the music. I spent the rest of the party dancing with him.

*** 

"I'm sorry, Jake," I said, taking off my shirt.

“For what?” He was watching me.

“For earlier...” I started, taking my shorts off next.

“It's okay. I understand that you're not ready yet.” I was standing looking away from him in a black lacy thong and matching bra.

“I also said that I may never be.” I bent down to pick my shorts up off the ground and threw them in the hamper.

“I don't believe that.” His voice sounded a little bit strained. I turned to see that he was- excited again. I smiled, turning off the light. “It's dark,” he whispered, gently sliding off his shirt and shorts. I giggled.

“That happens at night.”

“That's not what I meant.”

“I know that, Jake.”

I could hear his smile as he said, “I really wish you did.” He slid under the covers. I was a little confused, this conversation didn't make much sense. I walked over to his bed and he watched the way my body moved jealously.

“I know what you're thinking Jake,” I whispered.

“Oh, really?”

“Mhm, I know what you want.” I smirked, knowing he could see my face with the moonlight coming through the window. His face was confused, almost pained, and full of lust as he stared at my body. I lifted the covers and slid beside him. He shifted so that he was facing me.

“Are you drunk, Cali?”

“You can give me more credit than that, Jake. And either way, you know I don't drink.”

“Some things change,” he muttered, looking away from me.

“And some things don't. I thought we established that.”

“We did.” He took a hand an brush my hair out of my face, letting it linger on my cheek. I leaned it to kiss him, but he pulled his head back.

“Jake...”

“Cali, I need to know that you're not going to back out on me this time. I don't think I can handle that again.”

“This is wrong,” I whispered.

“But not wrong enough to keep me from wanting it,” he growled. His eyes were hungry and desperate now. His face was barely an inch from mine.

“Would I sound crazy if I told you that I feel the same?” My voice sounded higher than normal.

“If it wasn't me you were talking to, you'd definitely ruin that goodie two-shoes rep of yours.” He winked a me and I smiled as I heard his boxers come off. He finally pressed his lips to mine. “If you leave- I swear to god, Sunny- ” I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him again.

“Not going anywhere,” I whispered. He seemed to believe me and pressed his lips once more to mine. I shifted slightly, so that I could hitching my leg up around his hip. He wasn't as gentle as he was earlier when he rolled me onto my back so that he could hover over me. His body was close and I could feel him rubbing against me. His lips were at my neck, moving down, searching for and reaching my soft spot. I moaned as he began to suck it softly. His lips moved slowly up to my ear. He had one hand on my hip.

“Don't be offended, because I totally love this sexy black thong of yours, but it needs to come off-” He softly nibbled my earlobe. “Now.” I reached down, but his hand was already there, having gotten the approval he needed. I heard them drop to the floor. He smiled wickedly and my returning smile was desperate. “What do you want, Sunshine?” He never gave me a chance to answer, but 'I'm ready now.' would have been it.

“Oh, Jake,” I moaned.

“My sweet sunshine,” he purred in my ear.