From Lonely to Loved

Chapter 4

Sarah

Ever since Jack stopped coming to school, it's been so hard. Vicki has been giving me shit all week and Brad has been making rumors about me. 'Sarah! I hear you're from Wairoa! Did you smoke? Do drugs? Drink? Considering where you're from, you must've!' It was one of Brads' goons, come to down me. Why are they intent on hurting me? It's not fair.

'No! I didn't! Leave me alone!' The girl's bathroom was only a few meters away. When I got there I broke down. Tears streamed my face. Sadness clouded over me. It's Thursday now, and Jack still isn't showing. Where could he be? I need him to show his face. I... It doesn't matter... He doesn't want to be my friend anyway. Or- he does, he just won't. Why doesn't he? He should realize he needs me, that he wants me by his side. Maybe he already has? Maybe he's just denying himself the friendship he so desires. But why? Because he doesn't want me getting bullied as well? Well, it's a bit too late for that. Brad's douchebag goons are already out to get me and so is Vicki and her gang of uptight bitches. They're all so wrong. Why would they bully such a nice boy? He doesn't deserve that. That's what I'm trying to stop. I'm trying to get him to stop being bullied. It's just... It's not working so well. It's just ending with me getting bullied too...

I think that we could fight it. But we need each other first. And I'm not sure how that's going to happen.

*************

I've got a math test that I'm walking to right now. The halls seem to go on forever as people look, point and laugh at me. Ever since I started hanging out with Jack, people have been laughing at me. Is this what it's like? To be Jack? Have I been welcomed into his life? I must be hard for him. He's been here years. Taking all of this for so long. How can he cope?

Through the doors, papers on the desks. I take my seat and wait for Mrs. Davidson's instructions. Once the entire class was seated we were told to fill out the front page and turn to the next page for perusal. The test looked really complicated, and what makes it worse is that I'm not the best at maths. Once our five minutes were up we were told to start. The test was on mean, median, mode, and range. The first question was even hard! It was asking for the mean of numbers. But there was a lot of numbers. And that's what made it so hard. I started adding the numbers in my head while punching them into a calculator, 'Ten plus Twenty-four plus Forty-two plus Ninety-eight plus Thirty-six plus...'

*************

I finished my test early and flipped through over and over again, making sure I got it all right. Once I was fairly sure of my answers, I lay my test on my table and fell asleep on my desk.

I dreamt of Jack, smiling over me. I reached up, trying to take hold of him and bring him down to kiss him, but I couldn't get to him. He just seemed too far. Or was he pulling away? He was smiling, but it looked fake. Like he was forcing it.

And all of a sudden he was frowning, someone else was in the background, it was that bully Brad. He pulled Jack to him. Jack looked so scared. Maybe he knew Brad was behind him? Maybe that was why his smile was only fake? If only he knew, understood, believed, that he didn't have to be scared around me.

Brad shouted something but all I could hear was a jumble of sound that didn't quite sound like words. All pushing together to create a line of hate that I couldn't understand.

And suddenly, it was gone. I'd awoken to the sound of the bell ringing, signaling the end of class, and ultimately, the test.

*************

It was a sunny day, which was lucky because I was walking home today. I decided to detour to Trentham Park for a bit before heading home. No one was there when I arrived so I sat down on the swing with headphones in, listening to music. For about ten minutes I sat there, then I moved to the spot under the tree I liked to sit at and lay there with my eyes shut, losing myself to the lyrics.

I think I fell asleep because all of a sudden it was dark and my phone was buzzing furiously, begging to be answered. So I picked it up and answered. It was mum. She spoke angrily, and I knew I was in trouble. 'Where are you, Sarah?! It's six o'clock and you're not home! Not a text, not a call. Nothing to know where you are! And when you didn't answer your phone straight away you worried your father and I sick! You have a lot of explaining to do.' That's a lot of scolding. Maybe I should have sent a text before I got here.

'I'm sorry mum. I came to the park to lay down for a bit. And I must have fallen asleep in the sun. I should have told you where I was. I'm sorry.'

'Thank you for apologizing Sarah. I appreciate that. But you still have to explain to your father. So it's best you get home now. I'll tell him you're on your way.'

'Thanks, mum.' And with that, she hung up. 'I better get home,' I mumbled to myself. Groggily picking up my bag, still half asleep, I headed off the park and onto the path to my house. I knew I had a lot to explain when I got there.

Dad was waiting at the door for me when I got home. He looked really angry, but I knew he wouldn't get that angry at me. He wasn't like that. 'Sarah Jenson, where have you been? Your mother and I have been worried sick. You didn't text, you didn't call. We had no idea where you were. Where were you this whole time?'

'I was at the park, Dad. I went and lay down in the sun and I fell asleep. I should have messaged. I'm sorry.'

'You should be sorry. We had no idea where you were. Come inside. Dinner is almost ready.'

I walked inside and dropped my bag at the door. My parents told me to get changed so I went into my room and changed into a pair of jeans and a loose top.