Flawless: Gazelle [COMPLETE]

Chapter Three

Chapter Three

"So... this is a nice and cozy sort of settlement, isn't it?" He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and anxiously.

I snorted at how he said 'settlement' instead of just 'place' like any normal person would have, earning a well-deserved weird glance from him.

"Yeah."

I shut down his attempts at conversation with a brief reply. It was only natural instinct for me now, to just avoid all sorts of communication.

That was when I came to realize that I actually longed, yearned, even, to speak with him and learn what exactly made him familiar to me. I cleared my throat; conversing was an old habit which hadn't been practiced for a while, and it was getting rusty.

"I-I mean... It has a great view; I guess...?"

That came out of my mouth as more of a question than a simple statement as intended.

Liam smiled at my efforts, as pathetic as they were.

'Do you just... come up here, then?' He chose his words with precise care, almost as if he knew that one mistake, one slip-up, would break this awkward conversation which he had carefully woven.

'Yeah.'

I laugh, a melodious chime in the cool breeze which was currently ruffling my hair playfully.

'It brings comfort,' I added in a feeble attempt to ease the tension, which was by now so thick it could have been cut with a knife.

"Yeah..." he agreed awkwardly.

"My dad would love this place!" He exclaimed suddenly, trying to salvage our conversation.

Perhaps a bit too suddenly.

I tensed and noticeably paled at the word.

"Yeah. Maybe."

I was stone-cold again, unreachable. Liam seemed to notice, for he shifted awkwardly and uncomfortably before backing away, using the lame excuse of how he had to attend some other event and needed to leave.

It hurt, having to keep these impenetrable, invincible walls around me; having to be afraid that others would hurt me; having to cower in my cocoon of doubts, uncertainty, and limitless overthought by myself, suffocating and drowning in self-pity.

Yet, for some reason, I was confident that by letting others in, it would just fuel to destroying my already bullet-proof walls, and that it would somehow have the ability to hurt me even more.

I would know. I had first-hand experience in the 'betrayal' department. My fingers traced the scar on my palm absentmindedly once more.

That is why I have always been in the shadows.

Because I had a fear of the world around me, which was gradually changing, while I wasn't.

Yes, I have asked myself time and time again, whether it was time for me to step out of the dark, and a few times I had almost convinced myself, only to have shrunk back at the last moment. Once, I had even succeeded, but it only proved my point, for my 'friend' had hurt me—both physically and mentally—more than any foe could potentially do so.

This was me, and somehow, I was going to have to accept it.

*****

After lunch was biology. On this particular day, a thought crossed my mind.

Have you ever noticed that in every love story or cheesy classic, the lovers always have biology together? Take Twilight, for example, it is where Edward and Bella, star-crossed lovers, hold their first conversation. How utterly ironic is it that I, such a loveless, dreamless girl, take biology? That I always sit alone, speak to none, especially not a Prince Charming? Such a humorless joke it is; would you not agree? After all, Prince Charmings were for princesses, not broken girls like me. I wasn't a damsel in distress; heck, I wasn't even a honey with a heartache!