Substitutes Make Everyone Happy

All Ends Have A Beginning

(Lyric last time was:I'm probably the craziest boyfriend that you've ever had, but so what if I'm crazy? I mean, the best people are.)(kind of a play on MM) (more P!ATD this time wooooo*im garbage*)

Seán's POV.
"I pushed myself to move, I hated mornings. I mean, yeah, woohoo, the day has started, but can't it start at like, noon? Ugh. Anyway, I grabbed my backpack and folded my clothes, putting them on the nightstand for now.

I began walking downstairs and heard Mark's gorgeous voice again, singing yet another unknown song.

Made a wrong turn, once or twice,
Dug my way out, blood and fire.

It sounded like a sad song. But it was beautiful, how he sung it. It felt like his voice was an unknown part of me, floating back and putting itself together in beautiful notes and melodies.

I sat on the stairs and listened intently, trying to decode the lyrics.

Mistreated, misplaced misunderstood, miss, know it it's all good, it didn't slow me down, mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated, look I'm still around.

It sounded like a description of something I went through a few years ago. A few scars from those times hid on my body.

You're so mean, when you talk,
About yourself, you were wrong,
Change the voices, in your head,
Make them like you, instead.
So complicated, look how mean you're making,
Feeling so much hatred, such a tired game.
It's enough, I've done all I can think of,
Chased down all my demons, I see you do the same.

It was beautiful. I was tearing up. I couldn't get enough of this song. I sniffled on the steps a little bit, holding in sobs. So many memories flooded through me, hoping to be forgotten. I hated these memories. They were horrible, I wish I could've erased them. All these thoughts that haunted me. Teasing to come back and hurt me even more. Even though the song sounded like pushing the feelings away, I cried because it took me so long to do that.

The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear,
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer,
So cool and lime, and we try, try, try,
But we try too hard and it's a waste of my time.
Done looking for the critics cause they're everywhere,
They don't like my jeans, they,don't get my hair,
Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time,
Why do we do that? Why do I do that?

Why do I do that?

I burst into tears, hysterical, as memories of horror and happiness came back to me in waves. My mind and eyes flooded with fear and I was unable to think anything except for all the cuts and pain, the pills, my head throbbed as I felt Mark pick me up and set me on his lap, reassuring me. I clung onto him for dear life as my eyes focused on the doorknob. Wails escaped me like they never had before, memories flashing by like a slideshow of death. I closed my eyes and tried to calm down, but behind my eyelids were more memories, scratching at me to be seen.

I tried to focus on breathing, feeling Mark's hands rub my side as he did everything in his power to help. This must be strange to him. Tears ran down my face slower until I ran out of water to shed in sadness. My sobbing stopped, and I heard him shushing me soothingly. My breaths were shaky.

"I know, it's a sad song. I saw your scars," He murmured. "I used to do that. I understand. I won't sing it again."

He kept on soothing me. He said he'd experienced stuff like this. I believed him. I trusted him. He loved me, I could tell.