Guys Don't Like Me

Chapter 22

"Taro?" Ryuu asked in disbelief, but he quickly unfroze, anger framing his face. "Don't you dare show your face to me, not after what you did to Kazu-" His voice broke off, and the words fell flat on still, dead air. Kazu's not my concern anymore. Ryuu shook his head. "What...What do you want?" he asked instead, staring at the ground because he couldn't bear to look at Taro, not without letting his anger control him.
"I get it. Why you hate me, I mean. I'd hate me, too," he said, kind of quiet-like. When Ryuu looked up to check if he was being sincere, he saw that Taro was also staring at the ground, his eyes hard. Serious. "What we did - what I did - I regret it every day. I know that what happened to my cousin wasn't Kazu's fault. I know that, but I let my emotions get a hold of me. I'm so ashamed of what I did to Kazu...I can't even look him in the face. Every day, I keep thinking I'll come to school only to find a police escort waiting for me. I keep thinking he'll tell someone about what I did, but Kazu..." Taro paused, finally daring to flick his eyes up to meet Ryuu's. "He's not that kind of guy, is he?" After a beat, he looked back down. "I want to apologize to him. I was going to, but I'm a coward. That's why I've waited this long. But...but it doesn't look like Kazu's coming back, and I...I need to see him, even just one more time, to say...to say that I'm sorry. And that it's not his fault. Because...because he thinks it is," Taro said quietly. "I could see it, in his eyes. He hates himself. But...he's wrong." Taro shook his head, looking up, his eyes suddenly fierce. "I need to go to his house. You're his friend, right?"
Ryuu winced, but Taro was already shaking his head.
"Of course you are. What a stupid question." He exhaled. "Look, can you just take me there? I'm afraid that if I go alone, I'll lose my courage."
Ryuu hesitated. No way did he want to be anywhere near Kazu's house, but on the other hand...This kid could become Kazu's new friend. With that thought in mind, Ryuu forced himself to nod. "Yeah, sure," he said, his throat thick, but Taro didn't notice.
"Thanks, Tsukishima-san."
"...It's Ryuu," he found himself introducing, and the boy's eyes widened in surprise before he smiled.
"Well, you already know me." He hesitated, his smile slipping off his face. "And you don't have to forgive me, so don't waste any time thinking over it. I don't deserve-"
Ryuu turned so he didn't have to look at the earnest kid. "We should start walking."
The boy fell silent and followed him.
***
Ryuu stopped outside Kazu's house, forcing himself to not even look in that direction. "This is K-...his house," Ryuu mumbled, and Taro nodded.
"I know."
Ryuu turned around. "Huh?"
Taro tilted his head slightly. "I'm the one who brings Kazu his schoolwork."
Ryuu's mouth opened before he shut it and then proceeded to try to speak once more. "Hang on! Why am I here then?"
Taro tapped his fingers together nervously. "Well, I mean, I just drop the papers in the door. I don't actually, you know, see Kazu face-to-face."
Ryuu just stared at him. "Well, there's Kazu's house. What do you want me to do about it?"
Taro clenched his jaw and looked away, trying to appear strong. "Can you...come with me?"
No I can't, no I can't, no, no, no, no...
"..."
"Thanks so much, Ryuu," Taro said, and Ryuu frowned.
Couldn't even add a -senpai? But that wasn't the real reason that he was unhappy.
As the door grew closer with every step, Ryuu told himself that he wouldn't say anything. He wouldn't even look at Kazu. He was only there for emotional support, anyway.
Wait, why does that make it sound like Taro is confessing to him or something?
Shaking off his thoughts, he waited off to the side as Taro knocked, wincing at the volume.
Ryuu's heart was beating fast, too fast. If he saw Kazu, he was sure that he'd have heard it.
But Kazu never came to the door.
Ryuu was ready to just pack it up and go home, but upon seeing the crestfallen look in Taro's eyes, he hesitated. Finally, "There's a back door," he muttered. "Kazu leaves it open."
Suddenly, Taro's energy returned, and he let Ryuu reluctantly lead him around to the back, where they quietly slipped in the back door.
"If he's home, he's probably sleeping," Ryuu whispered as they walked as quietly as possible through the house, a good idea of Kazu's location already in his mind.
"Sleeping? But it's the afternoon," Taro replied, and Ryuu just shrugged.
"Kazu enjoys sleeping the way some people enjoy sports or movies," Ryuu said dryly. "Just don't question it."
When they approached Kazu's door, Ryuu turned and motioned for Taro to stay there, a finger on his lips as the universal gesture for silence. Then Ryuu crept inside.
"Kazu?" he called out softly. "Hey, um, Kazu?"
Damn it! Why didn't I just tell that kid to come in here while I left? I have no business talking to Kazu, let alone invading his room.
"Hey, Kazu? Are you awake?" Ryuu called out. By this time, he was close enough to make out a figure in the bed, only the blankets were arranged rather oddly, as though concealing something. Ryuu took another step, and Kazu's right eyes flicked open.
That's when everything went wrong.
First off, it wasn't Kazu who woke up; it was Kazumi, which led Ryuu to wonder how he'd kept his female form after sunrise...
Which led directly into the second problem.
The lump of blankets beside Kazumi shifted, and that when Ryuu realized that they weren't just blankets, but an actual person.
"Who is it?" a sleepy voice called out, and Ryuu froze, the sound familiar in his ears, but he couldn't get out a single syllable.
Then the blankets shifted more as the figure turned to rest their head on their hand, their elbow piercing the pillow so they were partially elevated but not in a sitting position. "Hey, Kazu. It's that friend of yours."
Kazumi said nothing, just looked back at the figure behind her in a way that Ryuu couldn't read her eyes, but he wasn't looking at Kazumi anymore.
No, he was looking into the face of someone he despised for all the wrong reasons. Finally, he managed to choke out a name. "Katsu?"