Hi. My name is Selena. My mom had me when she was only 16 years old which is pretty young. Some of you may know my first book called Revival. This very similar to my first one except part 2 is when things gets complicated with my life and when all of the ups and downs happens. Ever since I started growing up into this world, I had no idea what growing up was all about till my mom taught me everything I needed to know.
Sometimes a parent and a child ended up having to go on their own paths but deep down in my heart, I know that my mom is still there for me and still cares about me even though things sometimes happens when a parent or parents raises a child but things didn't go the way it would've worked out. There were disagreements between me and my mom and that kind of hurt me a bit that my mom isn't there for me when I need her most. I do make mistakes and I'm not a perfect child. I'm now on my own path and taking on this huge world on my own. I wish I didn't had any feud with my mother but I feel like she's just mad with the mistakes I made. I wish I never even lost her because she was my mother that I have cared about.
I wasn't even ready to be on my own. Sometimes I feel like when I apologized to my mom, she won't forgive me and that makes me feel like for her to understand what I'm feeling, I guess I need to start going my own path and seeing these opportunities that life wants to give me and open up to.
I was feeling happy about being away from home and having to start my Revival World Tour and getting to travel to all these places and meeting my fans. Revival tells my story about every ups and downs that I went through in my life and I was able to embrace those moments and share my story on the road. My mom and I still keep in touch a little but not so much. I try to be a good daughter to her even though arguments happens sometimes in the family. Not everything is usually my fault. I wish I didn't let down my own mother but I felt like with all of the mistakes I've done, I've tried everything to make it up to her but sometimes she won't listen to my forgiveness. I wish my mom understood that as a daughter I try to protect her from things and my heart breaks with the separation that happens. I want to see my mom so bad sometimes and apologize for everything that I've done.
Taking on this huge world is a huge responsibility and a step up towards life. I am ready to keep showing the world what I have for them. I'm also doing other good things to keep myself distracted from feeling negative. I feel positive for the industry companies that I have been partnering up with such as Adidas Neo, Unicef, Pantene, and so much more that help keep me growing and it keeps myself going with what I try to do for myself. Sometimes I wish my mother stayed by my side. While I'm on the road sometimes, I look at pictures of my family on my phone and remind myself of good old flashbacks to keep me happy. I miss my mom a lot sometimes when I'm on my own. But I have other good people that I surround myself with that I try to enjoy with, I guess that's what matters for now.
While I'm on my own, all I do is to keep writing music that expresses what I feel. My music helps me to express things that I can't express out of myself. I also hang out with my close friends on tour to enjoy myself. I will never forget all the memories that I share with my family. I'm an adult and I can handle myself even if I don't have family by my side, I still have other good people that stays by my side and sticks up for me no matter what happens to me. Family will always be my first priority throughout my journey growing up. My mom did everything she could to make me happy and she still does. She gave everything up for me to get me to the dreams that I always have wanted and I'll always have so much love for my mom, and that's something I will never change.
I started to tear up with the flashbacks with my mom holding me when I was just baby and just focusing on loving me and taking care of me after I came out from her stomach. I had to wipe every tear that rolled down my face but I couldn't stop myself from wanting to cry because it's okay to feel sad sometimes with the memories you still hold on to. I just want my mom back in my life and be able to be more happier with her by my side. She was everything I ever wanted to become. She was my rock, my world, and my role model that I looked up to.
My mom is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life to be honest. She was so down to earth and so understanding about everything that I have went through since I was a teenager. She was the first reason I started growing up and became happy and doing what I love. I didn't just fight for my dreams and career for my fans, it was also to make my mom proud and to show her that I was capable of doing this to keep myself growing and focusing on following her footsteps. She was my hero and she helped me get back up when I was getting knocked down. When she's here for me by my side, I feel so complete. She lights up my whole entire world. I was very glad to have such a loving parent who raised me all alone.
Maybe in the future, everything will be back to the way it will be and hopefully my mom will forgive me when she starts needing me again. Even if I'm not ready to take on this world alone, I should still embrace every journey and every memory that I cherish in my life.
