Imaginary |Lashton AU|

3rd grade

I wake up screaming and sweating. I quickly curl into a ball and hug my knees close to my chest, quickly calming myself down. I check my phone.

3:07 am

I sigh and wall into my bathroom, staring at ny reflection.

"Maybe you'll make a friend today" I teared up when I started thinking back to the 3rd grade.

Flashback:

I entered the school doors on the first day at my new school, I couldn't wait to make a friend. I saw a group of guys and smiled. Maybe they could be my new friends.
So I walked up to the blonde boy in the group and held out my hand.
"Hi I'm ashton. I'm new here, want to be friends?" I asked, with the biggest smile on my face. The blonde boy gave me a smirk and the entire group gave me a look of disgust.
"We aren't friends with losers" he said smugly. A brown haired boy laughed and chirped along. "That's right luke, you tell him!" He piped up. I could feel the tears brimming in my eyes, realizing almost the entire grade was staring.
No one is going to talk to me now.

I sighed. I was right, even 8 years later, no one was going to talk to me. I slowly made my way into my shower, letting the cold water splash onto my face. I showered for about 45 minutes before stepping out and picking up my phone.

4am

I shook off my curly hair and wrapped a towel around my waist, walking back into my room. I picked up a small, framed picture. I was in grade 1, and I was Beside another little girl. I was dressed in jeans and a blink shirt, since my mom always loved those types of bands. The little girl, Lia, was wearing a purple dress and had bows all over her blonde head. I smiled as I remember that day. She was my best friend, we hung out every day. I frowned when I remembered how she left to America in grade 2. She was my only friend, the only person who got to really see my smile and laugh. I don't do that much anymore, my emotion is always blank.

My mum misses my smile, I can see her disappointment when I always come down with a blank stare.

I shake my head and rummage through my drawers, picking out my usual black skinny jeans, my batman shirt, and my contact case.
I slip on a pair of boxers and the jeans, walking over to my mirror. I stared at myself in the mirror, staring at the disgusting, sad figure staring back at me. I was too fat, my hair didn't cooperate, my arms were pathetic and I had a constant slouch.

I slowly put on my shirt and opened my contact case, putting one in. My little brother knocked on my door, causing my last pair of contacts drop into the sink and down the drain. I slammed my fists on the counter, collecting myself and walking over to open my door. My little brother, Harry, was staring up at me with tired eyes.

"Ash it's 4:39am, why are you always awake so early?"

I shrugged my shoulders and ruffled his hair. "Doesn't matter, go back to bed" and he did. He stared at me first though. He stared at his big brother, his big, broken brother.

"I just want my big brother back" harry whimpered as he ran back into his room. I teared up a little and closes my door, sliding down the wall onto the floor.

Why am I such a fuck up? My own little bother doesn't know who I am anymore. I'm supposed to be here for him, and my sister Lauren.

I sadly pick myself up off the floor, and sit on my bed, drawing sketched of people.