Imaginary |Lashton AU|

Autumn Air and Skipping Stones

I woke up to light peaking through my blinds. I look confusingly at my window before checking the time.

8:27 am

I couldn't believe it. For the first time in years I didn't wake up feeling terrible at 3am.
This may be the best Saturday morning ever.
I slowly climb out of bed and look in the mirror at my shirtless body. I was still too fat, my hair looked horrible, my eyes were bloodshot, and my arms were covered with more cuts than I've ever seen on one body.
I could feel the tears brimming my eyes, until I felt something rub my back. I quickly turn around defensively, before realizing it was luke.
"So you really aren't leaving, huh?" I rub my eyes tiredly.
"I told you, I'm your friend and I'm not leaving."

I nod and sit on my bed.

"So, I don't know how being friends work. What do we do?" I ponder. I can't remember having friends, I didn't know how it worked.

"Well, we hang out, talk, go on walks, and we can even play games" he smiled. His smile was so big and precious, just like him.
"So how about I shower first, and then we can go for a walk?" He nods and I head off to shower, finishing as quick as possible for my new friend. I enter my room with a towel tied around my waist. I quickly slip on boxers, skinnies, an all time low shirt, my beanie, and my glasses. I started fixing myself in the mirror before being scared half to death by a hand on my shoulder.

"Quite the show you gave me, and might I add, you have a lovely ass" he said as he spanked me. I looked at him sharply. "Don't spank me, mister" I say sternly. He giggles and we both head downstairs, luke passing everyone and waiting outside.

"Morning mum" I chirp, realizing I sound happier than normal.

She instantly looks up at me with a strange look, and so do my siblings.

"Morning ash" she kisses my forehead and smiles.
"You seem happy" harry smiles widely. My mum looks at me, almost afraid of my response.
"I'm not happy, but for once, I'm not sad either. I'm just, neutral." I sit at the table and pick at ny cereal, keeping ny sleeves down. Before I knew it, Harry was hugging me.
"I missed you" I kissed his head. "I love you buddy" I pat his back and I realize my sleeve rolled up a bit, and I caught Lauren staring with her eyes wide. I quickly pull down my sleeve and hand my mum my bowl. "Not hungry" I mumble, heading toward the front door. Lauren follows and looks behind her before turning to me.
"Ash what the hell?!" She whisper yells. I shrug. "What do you mean?" I decided to play innocent, hoping she'd let it go. I was wrong. She quickly lifted my sleeve, revealing one of my wrists and the deep lines that cover it, leading almost all the way up to my elbow. "Ash...." "Lauren I'm fine."  She sighs and shakes her head. "I'm going for a walk mum! I'll be back later." I look at my sister before leaving. "I'm sorry,  Lauren. I love you ok? Just don't tell mum." I kiss her head and head out the door to luke, nodding at him.

"You didn't take too long, did you stuff your face with the cereal?" He laughed.

"Y-yeah" I stutter. He instantly looks at me and cocks his head.

"You didn't eat, did you?" He gasps. I sigh and hang my head in shame, shaking it.
"Ash you have to eat!" Luke pulls me aside and lifts up my shirt, poking at my fat stomach. "Luke stop it, I know I'm fat" he looks up at me and cups my face. "No no, beautiful. You're not fat at all" he sighs and takes my hand, continuing our walk and turning into the forest.

Luke hemmings, the most beautiful boy, called me beautiful.
I wish it was true.

I sighed and followed him, careful not to hit my head on the branches.

We walk for a bit, the autumn air hitting my blush red cheeks, sighing in content.

"Look!" Luke points to a stream, walking over and sitting down beside it. I automatically follow the little blonde boy (who isn't very little, he's like 6"2. Like damn)

I sit beside him and stare into the water, peacefully. I start swirling a stick in the water, while luke starts tossing stones.

"Ashton why did you need saving?" Luke questioned, trying not to sound mean. To be honest, I didn't really know.

"I don't know, luke" I sighed.

"Why did you want to die?" He stated, tossing another stone into the rippling water.

"I'm alone, luke. I make my family sad and I don't have friends. I'm fat and ugly and no guy would ever love me." I didn't even realize I was crying until luke wiped my tears.

"I'm your friend. Your not fat or Ugly. Besides, I'm a guy, and I love you." Luke hugged me tighter than anyone has ever hugged me. I felt save, I felt protected, I felt.....happy. Someone cared about me, and I didn't make them sad.

"Thanks luke" I sniffled, wiping the rest of my tears. Damn I must look like a wimp now.

"Can I ask you one more question?" He almost whispered. I hummed in response.

"Where's your dad?"

I tensed up, staring at luke blankly. To be honest, I don't know. When I was about 6 he handed me a bracelet and a set of drumsticks, and then the next morning I didn't see him. I haven't seen him since.

Sometimes I wonder if he left because of me. I was a strange child,  maybe he couldn't handle me. What if he left because he wanted another family?

I was snapped out of my thought when I saw luke still waiting for my response.

"I don't know, probably California by now."

"California?"

"Yeah, he used to tell me stories about Cali, and how he wanted to visit there sometime. So, I assume he went there when he left"

Luke simply nodded, not pushing the subject too hard.

To be honest, I'm glad my dad left. He used to get drunk a lot and argue with my mum constantly. He was basically an asshole to everyone except me. I was his special gem.

But I guess his gem lost his sparkle, and he went to find a new one.

I'm never really good enough for anyone these days.

~♡~

After about another 2 hours of sitting and throwing things in the water, I looked up to see the sky darkening.

"We gotta head back, luke. My mum is gonna start to worry"
Luke sighed, standing up and following me out of the creek and onto the street toward my house.

I noticed luke walking in the middle of the street, dancing around.

"Luke? What are you doing?"

"Dancing"

"Your going to get hit by a car, come over here"

"Ashton, there's no one here. Come join me, even"

I sighed, but realized it might be fun. So I went to luke and started dancing around in the street, smirking.
I wouldn't call it a smile, but almost.

I guess you could say I was having fun...

"ASHTON LOOK OUT!"

I looked up to see headlights pointed at my face, and then everything went black.

~♡~