Bangtan Strip Club [ ON HOLD ]

01

[ drinks milk angrily ]

wassup im jungkook and this is my tragic back story

prepare for some tears.

just like any other bts fanfiction, i live alone for some reason like my parents got into a car accident and it supposedly traumatized me, i got bullied, i was emo, i got no friends you know, some shit like that but i glo-ed the fuck up y'all. i still lookin good yas bitch slay that coconut headass.

anyways, i had a couple jobs back in highschool and college for some extra spending money but i pretty much live off of noodles, i aint livin right now. my broke ass need some cash and my wallet dry as fuck goddamn spiders be living in there now. im bout to get kicked out of my place by some petty ass old dude. so i head out in my white shirt and some stanky ass timberland boots looking like some pimp twelve year old in the busy streets of seoul. i be getting all the bitches wet just by walking past em and they be like "oh ma god i love dom jungkook daddy pls fuck me" but im a homosexuwhale and thats what ima do but with some other dudes, just how the fangirls want it.

then i was like why not just have some fun instead? it gets dark and i haven't done anything productive all day because being the angsty teenager that i am, time flies like dab7.

i head off to a night club but the guard didn't believe i was an adult because he thought i looked like a cringey 12 year old bio on instagram with legs and a snapback and as always, the main character got a fake ID and he was like " oops ma bad " pfft. this bitch be letting morgan freeman into the club. dumb ass. inside the night club it was lit, everybody was dancing to aoba's moan raps. my flirting was A+, i was sipping a Caprisun and all i had to do was wink wonk and i got grinded all over like a jamaican dance off, that shit wildt.

all of a sudden, darude sandstorm stopped playing and someone announced

" All right everybody shut the fuck up and get your dicks prepared! It's time for Jibooty!!"

everybody started screaming so loud its like they eargasmed just by hearing that name. i was like who the fuck is jibooty? then i realized there were fucking poles all around the club. oh, so it wasn't some gay night club, it was a gay strip club. my innocence is gone! like pWOOsh. avert my eyes! nah bitch you kidding? i can watch whatever i want, my birthgivers are dead anyway that's how i roll. 

the lights go out and when it turned on, the pink spotlight was on jibooty. he wore a thong and he had them thighs and abs and oOh dAt aSS MMmmM mmMMMm. i'm such jikook trash ima eat that jibooty like groceries for yall later on. for some reason, he wore stAR shAPed sungLassEs i wAS FUCKING CRYINg. jibooty be doing goddamn splits and he be spinning and wrapped himself around sexily around that pole. everybody was cheering and got hard. he was making it rain in $100 bills, men were stuffing it in his mouth and in his thong but what really got me interested were those star-shaped sunglasses.how the hell does he keep them on while he deadass hanging upside down. oh,and also the fact that i needed money. don't forget about my broke ass guys.

after " jibooty's solo" i went up to this guy at the end of the club, and he had a name tag on his jacket which said ' Hi! my name is RAP MOANSTER and i'm from THE HOOD. ' so i straight up tell him

" rap moanster from the hood i wanna be a stripper." rap moanster from the hood looking confused as fuck. he removed his sunglasses and squinted at me real tiny as though he tryna find my dick. i couldn't find any other way to describe it BUT, for the fangirls, i got a big one, just like in the fanfics.

" okay, why do you want this job?"

" i'm chris browns asian child."
"..."
"these hoes aint loyal "

" you in"
" :)"