04

388 22 18

by jeondaddy

by jeondaddy

wehey i got me a job!! even though my ass aint graduated yet. now don't just assume that after every chapter i didn't go to back my trash landfill sprinkled with gold ass apartment. that guy still asking me for rent money, just wait, ima get you some money that rained on me.

so i went back to the strip club and now i got an ID to let me in, my name is nochu come thru my crew, i identify as a timerland boot with a sunhat, 18 ya know, all that.

"merry christmas jungkook" said E.T finger fucker as i came in, dressed up as a "naughty santa" (the label was still on).

"what? but it's past christmas-"
"shut the fuck up, mURREH CHRISTMAS HUR HUR HUR" he leaned in close to me and whispered it im a dangerously low tone and then pranced away happily as if nothing happened.

i sat down on the couch, and i noticed the salt lying down, curled up into a ball.

"i'm dead inside" he croaks, letting out an emo sigh, pulling his santa hat down and sunk into his dark circles even more, into the void.
"like vine." i added. ( OKAY IM STILL FUCKING SAD THAT VINE'S GONNA KMS )
" true true. very dead "

jin came in, and asked
" hey, does anyone know where hoeseok and jimin are?"

i looked around, and exchanged eye contact with taehyung and salt, nO, ROMANCE ISN'T ALIVE JUST LIKE THAT LIKE THEM STRAIGHT SHIPS BUT LMAO IF IT WAS, THEN THREESOME, but you could tell we didn't know.

on the other side of the room, namjoon says "nope, not here either." daddyjoon was looking under a goddamn plant, like bitch, are you gonna find a fucking body like that? he found a condom instead.
"oh. okay then. i haven't seen them for hours. istg when i find them ima-"

just then, the christmas tree decorated in baubles and decorations shuffled around. the christmas tree was alive! along with that, a weird man with them star shaped sunglasses swiveled around under it. he was all naked and was wrapped with ribbons as a present.

"surprise motherfucker" suddenly the christmas tree had hands and moved away the branches to reveal the fucking sun, hoseok
"disguise motherfucker" it was...jibooty. i couldn't believe my eyes!
"catch these hands motherfucker." jin was clearly pissed off, he had a slipper in his hand ready to smack the shit out of a bitch. the shhhhhhhhhhhhit out of a bitch. he stomped up to them and started ranting at them in spanish.

we sat on the dinner table and ate like crazy. rap monster with the star shaped sunglasses was eating chicken. jin kept staring really intensely, at either daddyjoon or the chicken. i've seen a couple of his eat jin videos and i could watch him eat gloriously for days, i wouldn't get bored. his eyes were big like fucking baseballs, as namjoon slurped on them noodles. if i could describe it, its like that one "eAT JIN AND OPEN YOUR EYES" vine

"its so beautiful..." jin sighs
"what, the food? yeah, i know."
" but guess who's more beautiful?"
"who?" namjoon blushes.
"me."
namjoon chokes and the fucking sunshine spits out his drink. jin's right though.

taehyung put down his cutlery, catching everyones attention.

"jungkook here's your present."
he hands me two coconuts. I look at the coconuts, then back up at taehyung, then back down at the coconuts, then back up at taehyung.

"w-why'd you give me coconuts?" i ask in utter confusion.
" you said you wanted to see your family for christmas."

silence filled the room.

i never said anything like that, i've only been here for a day. how.

"...thank you so much i can't believe this it's a miracle come true." i smile, wiping a tear."how did you know?"

taehyung chuckles, and pulls up his hood. he does the peace sign and disappears with the cake, his chuckles echoing in the distance.

it's taehyung's birthday. happy birthday.

wtf is this.
btw i made that nct eat jin. :)
and hAPPY BIRTHDAY TAE 💕