missing him
I leaned my head back on the wall, glancing out of the window and into the dark abyss.
I've never missed someone so much like this before. He is the only thing that fills my mind, day in and day out, no matter how hard I try to ignore the constant thoughts. My heart aches for him. I never did let go of him, I still secretly hope he feels the same way.
It's probably unhealthy, the way my body still craves for him and his touch. The way my bones ache for him and the way I yearn for his relaxing scent that would fill my nose everyday. It probably is unhealthy that I'm still needing for him, after I was brutally left even though it was mostly my fault we aren't a thing anymore, many months later of not seeing him.
I still desperately crave for his kisses. For his lips. The look in his eyes before his lips connected mine.
The faint ghost feeling, that has seemed to be left, from his lips pressed into mine made me run my fingers gently over my lips, where his lips used to be.
A sudden lust, a sudden want, a need for his lips latched onto mine sent a shiver down my spine.
Just one more time. I need to have the feeling of his supple, graceful lips sweeping against mine. I yearned for the delicious taste he has; the feeling of his heated tongue deliberately dragging against mine.
The way his hands slowly untangle themselves from mine, and slowly made its way up to my face. The way he cupped my face in his large, rough yet soft hands.
The cliche butterflies that blazed through me as our lips leisurely moved in sync. The sparks that erupted into every nook and cranny inside of me.
I just really want to kiss him so badly and it's all I could think about, kissing him, and his lips and his tongue and the little noises he makes. I can't stop thinking of kissing his neck and he collarbones and biting his lips.
I took our love for granted. I took him for granted. I didn't know I felt that strong towards him.
Sometimes you can only feel something by its absence. By the empty space it leave behind.
I really believe he was the greatest but worst thing that ever happened to me.
I wake up every morning wanting to be in his arms. Wanting to feel his lazy kisses on my neck, but I can't.
When overwhelming sadness comes rushing in, I miss you the most. I need to talk to you, I need you to care.
It's got me wondering, is love just suffering?
