September 27th, 11:35 PM
I know it's wrong to continue to write in this journal, the very one you happily offered to me that one night, considering it happens to be contained with sweet memories of you and I.
I promise this will be the last time I write in here. It's too hard to take a smile glance at this journal because all of those memories come flooding back.
Like when I would grab this journal off the nightstand and write in it when you slept.
I was always happy and content with you.
I miss those times, you know?
I wonder if you do too.
Those elegant memories are all I have left.
When you told me you fell out of love and didn't love me anymore, or at all, and that I needed to move on I was in pain.
After a few weeks, I wiped my face and at that moment I sucked up what was left of my pride and I'm doing what you told me to do.
I'm not looking back anymore.
When my phone rings and it's you, I'll ignore it. When my phone vibrates and you've texted me I will just sigh and continue what I'm doing. You were right all alone.
I tried too hard for you, now I've finally said goodbye.
This happens to be my final goodbye, and I wanted it to be short and simply.
Just real quick, sorry you know I could never simply say something without it turning into me talking and debating for another five to ten minutes...
Anyways I wanted to thank you.
I know what you're thinking.
'Thank me? For what?'
Well I wanted to thank you for being such a big part of me. Of my life.
You filled me with such happiness, such life.
You taught me so much that I had no clue about.
I thought I was carefree before I met you.
But you really taught me how to let my hair down, let my worries fade away, and really have a good time.
You showed me how to love, how to really care.
And I know you said you never really loved me, that day in the airport. I sadly, will never forget how I felt in that moment that you told me you didn't need me and I meant nothing to you.
I know, you never loved me but I really did love you.
With all of my heart, all my body, all my bones, all my soul, and even more, I loved you with.
It was pure insanity the amount I cared, and loved and needed you.
I still need you, with every ounce of fiber in my body but as my mom has reminded me, I need to let go. I need to move on.
This is it.
Goodbye.
