Predator. Prey.

Bait.

The clock read 2:37am, but I couldn't be less tired. Apart from the buzzing of my air conditioner, my apartment was completely silent. I could hear my own breathing, quiet yet labored out of anxiety. I sat with my legs crossed and arms folded in my blue wooden chair as I stared at the brilliantly ruby red rose on my kitchen table. I glared at it thinking I could make it disappear.

I felt violated. I felt rage. And I felt...vulnerable. How did someone break into my home to put a fucking flower on my table? Was it from him? Why? What was he trying to prove?

Logical, scholarly Dr. Quinzel approached my stream of consciousness to remind me that this is what he wants. He wants to break me so that I will run like everybody else. He lives to destroy. He seeks chaos in a world that breeds order. I am a symbol of domestication. And he is trying to revert me into someone untamable. Joker believes every one views him as a monster; he must always be approached with caution.

I am not going to give him that fucking satisfaction. He is not going to win. I am going to continue his unorthodox treatment despite the part of me screaming to be re-assigned to a different patient. I am going to show him that he doesn't have to be a monster. He is human. He can be fixed.

I threw the flower in the garbage disposal and flipped it on, listening to the stem and the petals get crushed until they were reduced to nothing. I threw out the vase, and I took out my notepad to jot down questions and behaviors I wanted to address tomorrow. I let my sadness and fear boil down to numbing apathy as I eventually climbed into my bed and fell into a dreamless sleep.

~~~~~

I walked into Arkham with a quiet, yet confident demeanor. I said hello to every one I passed, but did not stop for small talk. I left my office door unlocked as I sat down at my desk, aware that Joker would be arriving at any moment.

'You got this', I reminded myself. 'Do not be a toy in his game. Stay strong'.

I pretended to be reading his file when the guards opened my door and allowed him to sit across from me. I could feel his eyes watching my every move. I looked up and politely smiled.

"Good morning, J. How are you feeling?"

I saw he was immediately thrown off- he lost the smile he was sporting for a split second. He leaned forward, however, and studied my face. That same fucking smile returned,

"Late night, doc? Or just not enough makeup under the eyes?"

I folded my hands in my lap.

"Maybe I'll adopt your eye routine. The black clown makeup you use would really help mask any signs of bags."

Joker smiled at me and let out a loud laugh, and for once, it sounded genuine. My plan was working brilliantly. He saw I wasn't taking any shit. I was stronger than he thought. I watched as he spoke with those ever moving hands,

"I threw a line, sweets. And you didn't take the bait. Smart fish."

I wrote a few notes down and set the pen next to the pad.

"So I went from being a kitty on a motivational poster to a metaphorical fish? Sounds logical."

Joker ran his fingers through his hair and tugged his shirt to fix the wrinkles, never taking his eyes off me.

"I like you, Harleen. You're a different breed than those dogs they normally send my way."

I huffed a breathy laugh,

"I'm not here to be like the other psychiatrists, J. I want to learn to like you too."

"Mm." He purred, leaning forward in his seat. The sound caused relief to flood my body. Was he...was he showing signs of happiness?  His eyes glimmered and grew wide,

"You already like me."

I bit the inside of my cheek and stared at the bridge of his nose.

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. But I want us to get to a point where we can...trust each other."

"Then why don't you look me in the eyes for once, baby."

The way he spoke those words caused all the blood to flood to my head. My heart pounded. How could he tell I wasn't looking right at him? I've used the nose trick since I learned about eye contact in my freshman year psych class. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of any direct connection between me and him. I wasn't ready to. But here he was, demanding something of me. And I needed to earn his trust, and his respect. I was fucking terrified. But I did not show it. Instead, I shifted my eyes to look directly into his. And then the tunnel vision hit me like a brick.

I never noticed the color of his eyes. They were a fresh water spring, specks of blue and green with notes of chestnut around the pupils. His black makeup contrasted the whites of his eyes so beautifully, and so harmoniously. His green hair only intensified the small notes of emerald hidden within his clear blue orbs. I never noticed that beyond the facade he was a beautiful man. And he was human.

Joker is human.

He has been hurt; no one ends up like him without having been hurt. And this "Joker" persona was him reaching out for help. He needs help. He's asking for it every day he wears his mask. I didn't realize I had been holding my breath when I exhaled deeply, still staring, lost within my mind which was lost inside his eyes. I know now that I was sent here, I have this job, because it's me who can allow him to be his best self. I am his savior. I am his equal. I am the batman that he will not seek to destroy, but learn to respect.

I was torn out of my inner thoughts when he whispered with an undeniably sexual purr,

"Good girl."