Cyberbullied

Chapter 9

Niall's P.O.V


I cried softly, sitting on the kitchen floor, my cellphone in my hand. Just as I had finished crying, I let out a few more sobs, tears starting to roll down my cheeks once again.


"Niall, baby. I know this is hard on you because you haven't been home for months. It has affected the whole family. Just, promise me one thing," My mums soothing voice almost had me calm.


"W . . . What is it?" I whispered, ready to promise her anything.


"Don't," She paused and let out a big sigh, "Don't h-harm yourself. You are my big baby and I love you so much," She hesitantly spoke, a few quiet sobs escaping her lips on the other line. I was shocked as I thought about what she was making me promise her.


"I promise," I mumbled. "I love you too." I rubbed my wet cheeks before wiping my hands on my pajamas.


"I'll see you in a few days, ok?"


"I miss you," My voice cracked as I had forgot to answer her question.


"I miss you too. We all miss you. But, you'll be home in no time. Just wait and the time will come," She reassured me.


"Ok," I replied, fisting my shaking hands as I tried not to let out a loud cry.


"Stay strong, my little boy," She told me as slightly smiled.


"Mum?"


"Yes?"


"Can . . . Can you sing to me like you used to when you would put me to sleep?" I quietly asked her. I remember my mom singing to me everyday after school because I would come home with tears stains and wrinkly-sometimes bloody-clothes. She tried to make it all stop, but it clearly didn't work.


"Of course," She answered, pausing before she could sing to me. I pulled my legs up to my chest, wrapping my free arm around them. I listened as she sang so beautiful. I rested my forehead on my knees, briefly closing my eyes. Everything was appearing in my mind.


All of the painful yet savoring memories replaying again and again as if it had just happened a few days ago. I clenched my jaw, not wanting to run over all of the things that happened to me throughout my whole life in school.


"Niall, are you there? Are you ok?" My mums voice snapped me out of it.


"I'm fine . . . I'm fine." I finally answered.


"Well, ok, I have to go right now, but I will call you back later tonight, is that alright?"


"Yeah, that's alright," I told her before we exchanged our I love you's and goodbye's. I set my phone down beside me, staring off into space. The thought of my Uncle made me officially and completely lose it. I stood up, quickly catching myself from falling over because of how dizzy and nauseous I felt. I remembered the lads had trusted me to stay home alone while they went out and partied-I had told them I simply didn't want to go.


I breathed in and out, forcing myself to stop crying. I hated it when I cried. My face would turn red and my eyes would be glossy; I would look ugly. I walked out of the kitchen and towards the stairs. I slowly took one step at a time, nearly slipping and falling all the way back down.


I walked towards my room, clenching and unclenching my fists. I did whatever I could to prevent myself from crying some more. Entering my room, I immediately headed for my bathroom. I turned the light on and closed the door. I stared at myself in the mirror.


I scoffed at myself, shaking my head with shame. I lifted up my shirt and stared at my unappealing body. Liam always offered to bring me to the gym whenever he went to work out. I guess that means I really am fat and ugly. I pulled my shirt back down and gripped onto the edge of the counter, glaring down at the sink as if this object was the cause to all of my problems.


"Dammit!" I growled, swinging my arm and knocking many of my bathroom materials off the counter and onto the floor. I ran both hands through my hair, becoming more frustrated by the minute. He died. Just like that, he was gone from my life. He had cancer this whole time . . . And everybody choose not to tell me.


I was the one who would always spend my time with him. If I had found too much trouble at school, I would go to him for help. It's just as hard on my mom as it is on me; it's her brother. I felt like my uncle was the person who kept me completely and fully sane with all of the mean people in my school.


"It's not fair. This isn't fair," I repeatedly whispered. "You are supposed to be on my side, God." I clenched my eyes shut, pacing back and forth.


"Don't h-harm yourself. You are my big baby and I love you so much."


"Don't do it. Just cry . . . Let it out," I told myself as I tried to stop my hands from fidgeting. They wouldn't stop twitching, the throbbing scars suddenly coming to haunt me.


You promised her. Would you really want to see her heartbroken once she finds out you broke that promise? I stupidly smacked my forehead, letting the tears escape.


"Stupid, you are so stupid," I continued to smack my forehead, possibly seeking a bit of stability. It's no use. I'm already hated by half of the world. I opened a drawer and pulled out a brand new razor I had secretly bought. What's the use in fixing me when I am beyond broken?

___________________________
Hellooo my amazing readers!

Just to get my point across to some of you, I love Niall! In fact, I am a Niall girl. Niall is beyond beautiful, never would he be ugly. Ugly isn't a person, ugly is ugly itself. We live in a world where things just aren't fair for everyone. You may question yourself, "Who would say such a thing to Niall like that? That's just horrifying and sad!" But, I'm speaking the truth when I say everything in the world isn't all based on fairytales. No matter what anyone does, there will always be someone to try and knock you back down to where you started. I'm not saying Niall would ever think of doing this (because I have never met the lovely and talented lad). It's a fan fiction. It's not based on reality, yet it is. It's not, because this could possibly not take part in Niall's life. It is based on reality, because many people go through this. I am not here to write a fan fiction and make fun of people who go through things like this, I am NOT doing that. I am writing this to share and express my feelings. I write this to get a certain point across-which you will later find out.

Thank you for reading this! I hope you understand me now. :D

Quote:

"Once you start recognizing the truth of your story, finish the story. It happened but you're still here, you're still capable, powerful, you're not your circumstance. It happened and you made it through. You're still fully equipped with every single tool you need to fulfill your purpose."