Cyberbullied

Chapter 5

Niall's P.O.V

"What?" It was as if the exhaustion in his body completely faded away in an instant. "You're kidding." He laughed.

"Why would I joke about something like this?" I whispered, trying my best not to cry in front of my best mate.

"Niall," He shook his head, trying to process what I had said. "Does anybody else know?"

"No," I answered, fiddling with my fingers.

"Why?" His voice cracked as he glanced up from his bed. "Why would you tell me now?"

"I don't know," I mumbled, looking down. He leaned his head in his hands as I quietly stood there, looking down at the ground.

"Wait," He looked back up at me. "Niall, you wreak of alcohol! Where did you go?"

"A club," I quietly responded.

"I can't believe this is actually happening," He muttered into his hands. "We need to get you help, Niall."

"What? No!" I exclaimed.

"We have to!" He picked up his phone. I immediately snatched it from his hands and forcefully threw it at the wall, completely shattering his phone. Reality hit me as I realized what I had just done. "Niall," He whispered, slowly standing up. I backed away from him as he moved forward.

"Please," I begged him, the tears already flowing down my cheeks. "I don't need help!"

"Yes you do! We can make you better and you won't have to cut ever again!" He tried to reason with me. I furiously shook my head and glared at him.

"Maybe I like it when I cut myself," I clenched my fists, walking out of his room.

"Niall! Get back here!" He shouted, storming after me. I ignored him as I heard the rest of the lads open their bedroom door to see what was going on. I walked into my room, slamming the door shut. I quickly locked it before I paced back and forth. Running a hand through my hair, more tears streaming down my face.

"Niall! Open the door." Liam demanded. I ignored him and walked into the bathroom. I pulled open drawers, grabbing a knife and the bottle of pills I had always kept hidden just in case I felt that it was too much for me to handle. "I swear to God, Niall! I'll break this door down! Open it now, dammit!"

"Leave me the hell alone!" I yelled at him, staring down at the knife and pills in my hand.

"Open the fucking door, maybe then I will!" He replied back, punching the door as hard as he could. I flinched as my crying got heavier. I sat down on the carpet in front of the door. I lifted the knife and gently placed it onto my wrist.

"I . . . I'm gonna do it if you don't fucking leave me alone," My weak voice spoke out loud, warning them.

"Niall, listen to us, please! You have your whole life ahead of you, you have us, you have your career, you have your family back home, waiting for you! Imagine their faces when they would get a call saying you will never return home," Zayn quietly spoke. I knew what he was doing, he was trying to make me regret the best decision I will ever make. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, opening up Twitter. I ignored the lads pleads as I scrolled through tweets. I craved to see more hate, giving me a reason why I should hate myself.

@CallMeObsessed: Your so gay. U deserve to die asshole

I shook my head, my chin trembling as I let out a sob. I found more than 10 hateful tweets, which made me feel even more weak.

"I'm gonna break this door down!" I heard Liam shout in anger. I stood up and backed up against the wall. I jumped every time he slammed his body against the door. I quickly placed the knife on my wrist, digging it into my skin before it was too late. Just as the blood started to drip down my arm, the door was knocked down.

Their gaze landed on me. I watched as their emotions mixed into horror. I slid down the wall, the energy in my hand holding the knife, digging deeper into my skin. I attempted to crawl over to the bottle of pills, but it was too late.

I had slipped into unconsciousness, like I had wanted to happen from day 1 of my suicide attempts.

___________________________

I'm not trying to make anyone feel uncomfortable (If you do, don't read this fan fiction). But, I feel the need to write this, aha.

I know many writers say this a lot when they write a fan fiction like this, but when I say this, it truly comes from my heart,

I don't just want to make friends out of the blue. I want it to be for a (good) special reason. If any of you feel down or depressed and you are really looking for someone to talk to, I'll always be here, and I mean ALWAYS. It is never to late to seek for a friend, because I need one too :) Don't be afraid to inbox me and start a conversation (because I am TERRIBLE and too shy at starting conversations). I love to reply to people :D

What I am trying to say is... If you feel like you're down or you are really trying to find someone to share whatever, I am most definitely that go to gal, haha.

God gave me a life to live. He gave me a reason I have yet to figure out. But, with my whole life ahead of me, I'm sure I will realize what his reason was.

"I am a person, a living, breathing human being, just like you. We are at the same level, yet you act like you are so much better than me. Well, guess what? That attitude and negative comments will get you no where. You are only making me stronger than I originally came to be. You can step all over me, and it sometimes might hurt. But, I'll realize that I am a much bigger and more responsible person you will never turn out to be." :)