Damn Your Kiss

Chapter 7

"And that, my dear, is what a finished novel looks like," Lydia said, slapping down a huge packet of papers in front of me. We were at the coffee shop, of course, and we were meeting about the book. Again.

It had been almost a month since Brendon's surprise excursion to the national park, and we were pretty much seeing each other every day at this point. And if we didn't, we called or text each other. 

Some might say that we were taking it too fast. 

I said that the rush was refreshing.

"You mean it's actually done?" I asked her, my eyebrow raised. I had thought that after I turned in the last draft, she'd have given it back to me. But apparently not. 

"It's actually done," Lydia confirmed, and I couldn't stop myself- I leaned across the table and gave her the biggest hug that I'd given anyone in my whole life.

"I can't believe it's finally done," I told her in a whisper. She hugged me back just as hard, and when we broke away, I could feel a tear rolling down my face. I had waited years for this.

"I've also got the cover here for you. I hope you like it," she said, pulling up the jpg on her computer.

"Holy shit," I said, taking in the beautiful lines and the blues, purples, reds, and greens that came together to form the most beautiful cover that I'd ever seen in my whole life.

"That's it," I told Lydia. "That's the cover of my dreams."

"I thought you'd like it," she replied knowingly.

"You are the best agent a girl could ever have," I said to her.

"Awe, you're making me blush," she responded, her eyes finding her feet. 

"So when is the official release date?" I inquired. 

"We're aiming for around Thanksgiving," she replied. "But it may be out closer to Christmas. Either way it'll be before the first of the year. Then a few months after that you'll go on your book tour-"

"Crap," I said, cutting her off. "I forgot about the book tour."

Lydia frowned. "You forgot? The book tour was what you were most excited about."

I sighed and fiddled with my coffee cup in front of me. "That was before..." 

"Before what? What's more important than a book tour?" she asked softly.

"Not what," I began. "Who."

Lydia stared at me for a solid minute, trying to gauge my facial expressions. I knew I had to look slightly guilty, but I didn't know how guilty I looked until she spoke.

"I can't believe you let her back into your life, Ev. After everything that's happened-"

"Do you really think that little of me that you think after all the shit she's put me through, I'd take her back?" I spat, the words flying out of my mouth like arrows. 

Lydia immediately looked regretful, but I was so mad at this point that I couldn't even think to be sorry for my tone. 

"His name is Brendon and although I could never deserve someone like him, he cares about me a lot, and I care about him, and I don't particularly know where our relationship will be by then, but at this point, I don't want to go on a two month long tour where I don't see him," I said, standing and grabbing my bag. "I'm sorry that I feel that way."

And for the first time since I'd met her, I left Lydia sitting at the coffee shop by herself without a goodbye.

I didn't know why I was so angry at her. It wasn't like she had meant to be mean about it. She was genuinely concerned for my mental health. And I didn't blame her honestly.