Holding on, pushing away -Hunter Rowland-

Leaving and anger

Recap:
I looked at Veronica. She made me feel special. I grabbed her in my arms and hugged her tight.
Me: So you want me to be your "mommy?"
Roni: As long as you are ok with it.
Me: Of course. And maybe soon you will have a kind of "daddy."
Roni: Ok good!
Me: Ok guys well who's ready!!!!!!
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Ok so this chapter will be a long chapter and have a lot of drama!! SO So sorry for the language in this chapter and thru out the book!! So I hope you enjoy!!

*Triggering chapter*

-Cam's P.O.V-
**At the venue**
What is she getting herself into. She is gonna struggle with hate, and the baby girl. Ughh she is gonna crawl back to me for help like always. She is gonna make the tour worse. Ok don't get mad Cameron don't get mad.
"Cam. Cam. Cam!!!" -Kas
"I'm sorry, what's up?" -Me
"I'm scared." -Kas
"Everything will be ok." -Me
She walked away. I really hope she's ok. I feel horrible thinking those things now. Whatever.

-Mahogany's P.O.V-
"Kas! Are you gonna sing this show or dance?" -M
"Idk maybe if I can sing and then we can do the dance I taught you guys!" -Kas
"That is a great idea!" -M
She waved and left. I wander where she is heading to.

-Kas's P.O.V-
Well I don't know where I'm going. I left Roni with the boys. I want her to not have to deal with my problems. I may not be entirely smart about being a mom but I know I don't want them dealing with my problems. I walk to a room in the back of the venue. I sat there thinking. I decide to look at social media and see what was up. And it was the worst choice. All I saw was hate.

"Fat, ugly bitch"

"NO one wants you in Magcon even your brother"

"Just get the fuck off social media"

"No wonder everyone thinks your a hoe"

"Kill yourself"

"Drink the bleach already"

And then the one I hated seeing.

"Cut deeper next time won't you"

Maybe I should. I always had a blade with me, it was always hidden. Today I hid the blade in my shoe. I took it out and placing it against side, until someone walked in. I looked up with tears in my eyes. It was Blake.
"Blake I'm so, so sorry!" I said
"Just save it! You react to everything! Hate gets to you so easy. And you hurt yourself for no reason! If you can't take a little hate then why are you even here." He yelled at me.
My own brother doesn't even care that I cut. He would want me dead.
"Ok fuck you Blake! I thought you'd care! But maybe not. I fucking hate you! You know what I will leave!" I yelled back
"Fine the leave." He said calmly
I took the blade and cut right in front of him. He looked shock that I actually did it. Tear were ready to leave his eyes. I cut 6 time.
1 for being fat
2 for being the worse sister
3 for making every ones life worse
4 for being the slut I am
5 for making Blake have to deal with me
6 for my fans
"Hope your happy." I spoke out
I was in tears. I was so hurt my brother doesn't even fucking care about me. I was also in pain because of the cuts. I stood up and started walking to the bathroom. My arm was pulled back.
"I can't believe you actually did it. I'm so sorry, I should have taken my anger out on you. I have been getting so much hate too. I am so sorry!" Blake pleaded
I yanked my arm back and started walking again. I walked pass M, Cam, and the person I didn't want to see Hunter. All three were worried, they all saw the blood. I head to the bathroom. I got in there and wiped away the blood. I walk out the bathroom and there stands Blake, Mahogany, Cam, and Hunter. Hunter comes up to me and hugs me tight. He starts crying. I kiss his cheek.
I whispered in his ear "I'm leaving tonight right after the show and everyone is asleep. Baby please take care of Veronica for me please. I love you very much Hunter. I really do. And I really hope you wait for me. I won't be gone to long. But babe don't worry about me."
"Anything for you. I love you Kasey Gray. With all my heart. I will take care of Roni." He said back to me
"Thank you." I responded.
I released from his hug and went over to Cam. I hugged him.
"I'm sorry but this is good bye for now. Don't ask why or tell anyone. I love you Cameron. But I'm sorry." I told him
"Please don't leave! I love you too. But please don't say good bye." He said
I didn't say anything. I just went over and hugged Mahogany.
"I love you!" Was all I could get out.
"I love you too! And I know this isn't a good bye it's a see you later. Please contact me everyday."
"I will! Don't worry."
I look at Blake. I jumped in his arms. Yeah I was mad at him but I know I can't stay mad.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you early. I thought you would be hurt and hate me. But I know you still probably are upset with me and I understand. I don't expect you answer my calls or text or facetimes after today. I love you Blake. Your my brother and I can't stay mad at you. You know I love you. And I really hope you would forgive me." I said
"Don't worry about it sis. I love you very much. And I'm going to contact you everyday. And I want you to know that when ever you're ready to come, back come. I hope you take care of yourself. I love you!" He said back.
I looked up they were all crying.
"I'm sorry guys." I cried out
Hunter grabbed my wrist and brought me into a room. He was crying bad. He kisses my cheek.
"Babe I don't want you gone. Brandon won't either. Did you forget about your bestfriend? He won't be able to function without you. And I will be the same way." He cried out
"I know baby, but it won't be long. I'm gonna fly out to Seattle tonight. I will be there when you guys come for that show in 3 weeks. That when I will come back with you guys. But please don't worry. I am also gonna be staying up with your mom and Ashton because they wanted to be with me. I let them know and I haven't told you guys yet but Blake and I's mom died last night. She got in a car crash and was pronounced dead. I was the first call. And we have no other family. I told them just to burn and give us the ashes. I haven't told Blake but I'm going to soon. I contacted your mom and her and Ashton will be with me. Don't worry baby. She knows about everything." I kissed him on the cheek.
"Ok and I'm very sorry about your mom. Would you like me to help you tell Blake?" He spoke.
"Please." I got out.
He spread his arms out and I jumped in his arms and wrapped my legs around his torso. He held me tight. He walked out the room and there was M, Cam, and Blake. I turned my head and told Blake
"We have something to say." I was crying still.
"Blake, you can't freak out your sister is gonna get worse anxiety. Promise me you won't freak?" Hunter said to him.
"I promise I won't but I want Kas to tell me." Blake responded.
I got off Hunter and walked to Blake. I hugged him tight.
"Blake, mom died." I said in between sobs. He promised he would freak but he did. He started yelling and screaming and crying. I got scared. I ran into Hunter's arms. I was scared. Really scared.

-Hunter's P.O.V-
She ran into my arms. I could tell she was scared.
"Blake please calm down. Your scaring your sister!" I yelled at him.
"Why should I?! She decided to tell me now!!" He screamed back.
"Blake stop!! Do want more blood right now?!!! You're hurting your own sister! She is scared Blake just stop!!" I slightly yelled.
Kas has a tight grip on me. I hug her right back. Let go of her and she goes to Cameron.
"Hunter she is ruining my life. It's like she is trying to tear me into piece! She's all I have left." Blake tried to whisper but said it loud enough that his sister heard. Her sobs got louder. And she walk into the bathroom again.  That's when I realized she still has the blade.
"Cameron she still has the blade." I whispered to him. His expression went from sad to worried. I knock on the door nothing, I tell her it was me. Nothing. I knock again she opens up.
"What the fuck do you want Hunter?" She said to me.
"I'm want you to be ok. I'm trying my hardest for you not to hate me. Do you hate me?" I ask
"Of course I don't. You know I love you Hunter. But I don't want to get attach and get broken." Once she said that I kinda broke inside.
"I will wait Kas, you definitely know I would wait. Just please don't shu----"
I was interrupted but her soft lips against mine. She pulled away.
"I loved you since first seeing you. I thought you were the one but I knew that I wasn't the one for you because "Im the girl with scars"."
"That doesn't matter to me. I don't want you cutting anymore. Please." I ask her.
"No promises but I will try." She said
I smiled. All I thought was should I ask her. I'm gonna do it.
"I know we haven't known each Other long but will you be my girlfriend?" I asked
"I ----------"
^^to be continued^^

Heheheheh!! What do you think her answer will be?? Sorry for not updating. I will try to update soon. I love you all so much!! ❤️ I will get into more detail later about being with Christine and all that later in the book.