Senior Year

Chapter 1

Tyler's POV

8/20/14 - Mark left me alone for the last year of college! It sounds so empty without him here. I can hear all of my thoughts echo off the plain walls. Although, soon enough the room will be filled with unfamiliar sights and sounds. If I thought that getting a roommate in freshman year was bad, this is so much worse. It's my last year of college and I don't want to spend it with some random stranger. All I know is that his name is Josh. He should be arriving soon, actually.

I close my leather bound notebook and throw it in my dresser, hiding it under tons of socks. I turn to the four cardboard boxes sitting on my undressed bed and begin to unpack them. An hour passes in which I put up posters on my side of the walls, most of the flimsy pictures belonging to bands.

Suddenly, the door swings open. I turn on my heels to be met with the sight of a slightly unsettling human. With an unruly mop of bright pink hair sat atop his head and a full sleeve of tattoos on one arm, I am definitely feeling slightly intimidated. I might be taller, but I am just a baby compared to this kid.

"Hey, I'm Josh!" The stranger introduces himself and strides over to me, a hand held out for me to shake. I shake his hand, quickly letting go.

"Uh, I'm Tyler." Josh flashes a smile before turning and setting his suitcase down on his bed. He pulls out an iPhone and a speaker, holding them out towards me.

"Do you mind?" He smiles crookedly, and raises his eyebrows. I just nod, expecting some hardcore screamo. I am incredibly surprised when Taylor Swift begins to play.

8/21/14 - He keeps calling me Ty and playing drums at 3:00 in the morning. I want to tell him that my name is Tyler, not Ty, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. The drums don't bother me very much, considering they are electric ones that he keeps turned off and he is actually incredibly good. Another thing about Josh, he is very cute. I've always thought that I'm straight, but this guy is starting to make me question things...

"Hey, Ty?" Josh asks, turning away from the body length mirror. I roll my eyes before looking up from my notebook. My breath is taken away by the sight of my new roommate. Josh is dressed in a blue suit with a black shirt underneath. He looks absolutely stunning.

"Yes?" I reply, feigning annoyance. I don't want Josh to know that I'm actually quite infatuated with him. It's just that he looks really attractive.

"Do I look ok?" He looks up at me, a nervous look on his face. I almost laughed at how stupid his question is. Does Josh really think he doesn't look good? No way. I thought about saying, "YES, you gorgeous human," but I didn't say it out loud. Instead, I just nod and ask a follow up question.

"Where are you going?" I couldn't help but feel greedy for thinking of Josh the way I am.

"On a date." Josh turns back towards the mirror, playing with his hair that sits in it's normal style.

"Oh." I feel physical pain. "Who is she? If you don't mind my asking." Josh finally sighs and gives up on fixing his hair.

"His name is Dan, he is in law school here." Josh smiles at me before walking out the door, going to meet his date.

8/21/14 - ...Oh. My. God. He's gay? Maybe if his date doesn't go well I can ask him out. I'd have to get to know him better, but I think I might have a small (huge) crush on him. Although, maybe I shouldn't ask him out ever. I think that I should definitely wait until after college. If we dated and then broke up, it would be so awkward because we would still have to share a room.

Josh returns around two hours later, not looking happy. Not wanting to upset him further, I don't ask about his date. Josh sighs loudly and falls onto his crappy mattress.

"Hey Ty, what would you do if your boyfriend was moving in with another guy? I'm just asking for a friend." Josh asks, turning his head to look at me. Now, I know that I have an opportunity to get with Josh, but I won't be that mean. At least, not on purpose. I promise that I will give my honest opinion. My thoughts on this will not be influenced by Josh and his cute face or amazing personality or...

"Well, if you think that it's going to turn into something more, I would break it off. Then again, you just moved in with another guy." I respond, not wanting to seem desperate. Josh sighs and turns himself so he's facing the wall.

8/25/14 - So, Dan broke up with Josh today. He seemed pretty torn up over the whole thing. I'm fairly sure I heard him crying earlier, but I didn't want to mention it to him. I thought that I would be happy now that Josh is single, but it just pains me to see him so upset. He's been playing the drums a lot, and I really don't think he is as okay as he says he his. I want to ask, but I feel like it isn't my business.

Currently, Josh is on his phone, probably on social media. Suddenly, he turns off his phone and tosses it gently to the ground. He brings his hands up to his face and starts to shake. Hearing Josh start to breathe heavier, I turn and look over at him. After seeing what is going on, I decide that it's time to ask him about Dan. I don't want to make it worse, but at this point, I'm not sure that it can get much worse.

"Hey, Josh? Are you okay?" I sit up slightly, leaning back on my elbows. Five minutes pass without a word from Josh. Being cautious and aware of my boundaries, I sit next to him on his bed. After Josh still not acknowledging me, I go a step further by gently grabbing his wrists. Immediately, Josh pulls his arms away, causing his long sleeves to roll up. My world crashes in on itself as I see the small red lines littering the shorter boy's wrists. I didn't think that I would be this attached to him after only knowing him for a week.

"Hey, woah. Josh, what?" I let my arms drop in my lap and shake my head, as if to say no to something.

"It's not a big deal, Tyler. I'm fine." Josh turns his body away from me and pulls his sleeves down as far as they will go.

"Josh, just stop. Clearly it's a big deal." He just sighs angrily at my comment. Turning back around, he stands up off of the bed.

"Oh yeah? And how do you know that?"

"Because you didn't call me Ty."