Diary of a Minecraft Zombie Steve

Thursday- Vale of Spiders

Zombie Steve here. Well, Beep, Killer, and I started on our journey toward Valhalla. If I wrote down every disaster Beep almost caused while we were journeying tonight I would run out of pages really fast. I'll only talk about one of them.

There is a wide desert plain with some scattered cactuses and lots of spiders. It's known as the Vale of Spiders. Humans are creeped out by spiders and try to avoid it, but seeing as I am a zombie and I scare things, not let things scare me, I decided to take advantage of it as a shortcut to Valhalla.

Well, we didn't get very far tonight because Beep noticed the spiders. If you're thinking he was afraid of them you're way off. He noticed they were furry and decided they must be something to pet! Before Killer or I could do anything, Beep was petting one of the spiders.

Now, here's something that most people don't know about spiders in the desert: they are terrified of humans, almost to the point of it being a phobia. When Beep ran over there and started to pet that spider, whose name we learned was Floyd, that spider froze in absolute terror.

As Killer and I ran toward Beep and started calling to him to leave that poor spider alone, Beep climbed up on the spider's back like it was a horse.

Yes, you heard me: like it was a horse. Floyd screamed a most bone-chilling scream, then yelled, "Get it off! Get it off! Please, somebody get it off!"

I grabbed Beep's shirt, and Killer grabbed his leg, and Beep came off the spider. Floyd fell on the ground, crying. "Why would you bring that monster out here?"

"I'm sorry, sir. He got away from me."

"And he got on me!" he whined, still crying.

"Beep, apologize to...uh, sir, what's your name?"

"Floyd!" the spider wailed.

"Apologize to Floyd for scaring him."

Beep looked up at me. "I scared him?"

"Why do you think he screamed, Beep? Now apologize."

Beep giggled. "Mr. Floyd, I am very sorry I scared you. Please accept my sincere apologies."

It sounded like Beep was in the habit of apologizing!

"Fine, just take that little monster and get him out of here!" cried Floyd. "Here, take this," he continued, tossing me a length of spider silk. "It makes a good rope. If you are going to bring a dangerous creature like that into the Vale of the Spiders, we have leash laws."

"Thanks," I said as I tied it around Beep's waist and held it in my hand. Killer Fluffy Butt got awfully tickled seeing Beep tied up like a dog.

We then proceeded across the Vale, with Beep pulling and tugging on the "leash" until he just about wore me out. I finally stopped a few hours before dawn, earlier than I intended to but too tired to wrestle with Beep anymore.

We ate a good meal of carrots and melon, and then I quickly carved out a makeshift shelter for us in the side of a hill. I added a door, locked it, and made us some nice, soft dirt beds.

That's it for tonight, diary.